Marriage vs. The Apostolic Decree

Our Bible Study at Church is going through James right now.  We are just at the beginning of the study (Started last week).

This week one of the things we learned about Jesus brother James was that he was the initiator of the Apostolic Decree (or also known as the Council of Jerusalem).  In a nut shell and without a bunch of Theological (saving that for the pastors) explanation the Apostolic Decree was a short list of rules created to help 2 groups of people, the Jews and Gentiles, show respect and unite under the umbrella of 'Christians' after Christ died on the cross.  The Jews and Gentiles had very different cultures, different beliefs, just differences in general and refrained from associating with each other.  When Jesus came to earth, died on the cross, rose from the grave (AMEN!!) He did away with a lot of the rules, customs, and belief systems religion in general had.  He set a new standard of inward instead of outward (meaning instead of having to make a physical sacrifice (sacrificing a lamb, cow, bird,etc) for sin to become clean you could repent in your heart and ask Jesus to forgive you and you would be clean from your sin.  Jesus also shook the religious community up by saying that the Israelites (Jews) AND the Gentiles (Acts 15:14) were God's Holy People- Chosen- A treasured possession (Before, it was only the Jews who were the Chosen).  The Apostolic Decree was one of the first steps taken to help bridge the gap between the 2 cultures......................

Yesterday afternoon I was taking a break from being in my germ ridden home (flu flu and more flu is still going around).  Elle's was down for a nap, Eli was sleeping on the couch, and Ryan was doing home work.  I was outside in our front yard taking out some ivy that has overtaken one of our planters- As I was pulling the ivy out I was thinking about the Apostolic Decree- the merging of the 2 cultures and how awkward and difficult that must have been for that first generation of Jews and Gentiles.......They had never seen it done and were pioneering some new ground- They were relying a lot on not only the Christian Leaders of their era but on the Holy Spirit (John 14:26) that indwelled within them (a new concept for them also).  At some level only two thousand years later and over seven thousand miles separating I understood what the Jews and Gentiles felt like.......

Marriage..............

As my thoughts were turning from the Jews and Gentiles to my marriage Matt happened to walk up

'Hey Babe, do you realize how much you and are are like the Jews and Gentiles?  If we lived back in Jesus time you would have been a Jew and I would have been a Gentile........We would have been in that first generation that was asked to merge our cultures and back grounds....blending together so much so that we become one'

When the Lord brought Matt and I together 20 years ago He was asking us to bridge some gaps- over come some cultural differences- accept about each other what may have seemed unacceptable (not sin but simple personality traits)

Matt is full Dutch with a strong heritage in the Orthodox Presbyterian Faith.  He comes from a lineage of no divorce- His family enforced a strong work ethic with an emphasis on practicality.  Matt's family has the gift of cleanliness- I do not say this jokingly.........I would drink the water out of my mother in law's toilet (it is that clean!). 

I grew up in 'divorced' family.  My mom became a Christian when I was 8 years old and we started attending a Non Denominational Christian Church with a bit of a 'hippy' feel.  We were a family that lived out loud the emotions we were feeling.  My mom was all about having fun.......we believed that practicality was for the boring and weak in 'fun' spirit.  We are surface cleaners- just enough so that we can go hang out with people or do something else that is fun and not feel guilty about having a dirty house waiting for us at home..........I had a lot of fun growing up but did not have a practical/hard working bone in my body............I wouldn't drink the water out of my mom's (or my) toilet for any amount of money :)

Over the years Matt and I have had both fights and petty disagreements over our 'differences'- It has been a sorce of some signifiant frustration for both of us.  At times in our marriage it has seemed so overwhelming and impossible (not impossible to stay married but impossible to 'get along').

Going back to the Apostolic Decree- One of reasons for this rule change was so that Jews and Gentiles could associate with each other and not be offended.  The Jews would have been horribly offended if they went to a Gentile's gathering and meat sacrificed to idols would have been served (this would not have been sinful for the Gentile but the Jews would have considered it sin)..........1 Cor 8:9 says 'Be careful that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block...'

What struck me yesterday and why the title of this post is Marriage vs. The Apostolic Decree is the same applies in my marriage (for Matt and I it is rules that need to be set up based on cultural and personality back grounds- things that Matt may see as wrong that are completely fine with me and vise versa- again, not talking sin here but Matt's freedoms vs. my freedoms).........

It is offensive to Matt if our house is not clean............ I need to do my best to keep it clean
It is offensive to me if Matt keeps his feelings all to himself............He needs to push himself to share more openly about the things he is thinking and feeling
It is offensive to Matt if we do not have a budget that is well beneath the means of what he makes
It is offensive to me if the budget is so tight we can't do fun things

Your getting my point....

Just like James and the other 'Pillars' of the early church saw a need to set up boundaries and rules for these 2 people groups to merge so it is true about my marriage (and maybe some other marriages too).  I love how stories in the Bible never loose their universal application- How the Lord arranged it so that learing about the Apostolic Decree could be used to better and more understand marriage .