Rita
One word comes to mind when I hear Rita's name mentioned or when I see her at church on the weeks she is in town visiting her family.
Brave
God has allowed Rita to battle a significant diagnosis of cancer- a battle that did not start and end with surgery and treatment but instead a battle that was fought and then needed to be fought again.....and possibly again. I have never heard her complain or grumble...she addresses it honestly and matter of fact with grace and class. Instead of relating to her cancer with fear she has chosen to trust God and His call and control on her life. I admire you Rita and thank the Lord for how you show Him off in your life- I admire that He is seen so evidently as you travel the road of cancer. I admire that instead of sitting in self pity, you live life to the fullest with your kids and grand kids....I admire that you have gone to your cancer treatments by yourself and not crumbled with fear.
You are brave Rita and you honor God with your bravery
The tears I was crying sitting with Janelle had been building for longer than just this morning....
Three months ago was when I first felt the 'lump'. It was painful, which was reassuring, but persistent. By late last month I couldn't ignore the lump anymore- I have learned, as a former anxiety attacker-er, by the time something is keeping me up late at night and causing fear to start taking root in my heart, it needs to be addressed.
Doctor's are not my favorite place to visit (I would rather eat brown eggs and drink Llama milk). I had secretly hoped the lump was going to go away if I ignored it long enough- When it didn't, logic won over fear and I made the call. The morning of my appointment I was anxious and praying. I was praying for the courage to face the day and to actually go to the appointment and not bail at the last minute.
Rita's daughter Kimberly (who lives in London) does not know how much God used a post and picture she posted on facebook the morning of June 23 (the same day as my appointment) to calm my anxious heart. Here Rita was at Chemo (by herself) with a heart of gratefulness- If she could face her day with gratefulness I could at least show up to my appointment.
"Wanna know how I KNOW that my mom is amazing? We were comparing our "views" via text... Mine, in Covent Garden, where I'm reading and waiting for a meeting in about an hour. Hers? At UCD having chemo with her special blanket keeping her warm. Her response? "This is my view BUT I AM GRATEFUL." And when I said "I'm so sorry". She replied with "No be grateful something is working." That, my friends, is courage. And determination. And strength. And beauty. And I have the utmost respect for her. All my love"
My appointment went smoothly and very much as expected. The doctor felt the lump and said she thought it was a calcified milk duct or something along those lines. She was very reassuring that due to it's shape and size it didn't feel like cancer BUT a mammogram would definitely be the best route to go.
I had dried the tears just as my name was called to go back for the mammogram today. The tears stayed at bay as the first couple of pictures were taken. As the tech made her way over to where the lump was I asked 'can you tell if something is weird right away- like as soon as the picture comes up on your screen?'. She was gracious but vague and said that she had been a mammogram tech for many years and had seen a lot of lumps that were cancerous and lumps that were non cancerous. She said that I had fibrocystic tissue which would mean I would probably experience many mammogram's in my future. She adjusted her machine so that she could get a reading high up in my arm pit and all the way to my chest wall. As she did this, my tears started falling- They fell down onto the mammogram machine. The tech glanced up from adjusting the machine and kindly asked 'are you crying?'
'I'm a mom'
'I have 3 kids'
'worst case scenario has been running through my mind for months'
She was so gracious as my tears continued to fall- So gracious when she allowed me to come over and see the picture she had taken of the lump area. She pointed to two 'lumps' and vaguely explained what typical 'cysts' (non cancerous) looked like and how the radiologist would be reading the pictures for the final answer but to her, there was nothing that looked alarming (my doctor left at noon today so the final conclusion as to what the lumps are will not come in until Monday morning).
It is such a comfort to know that we have a God who knows our fears and meets us where we are at. How He uses the prayers of our friends, the bravery of others, and in my case, the medical staff to place His loving arms around us. How He does not waste a single hard time we go through but will use it to grow our faith in Him and to give others courage and comfort to face their own trials (Rita).
We have hope no matter what our diagnosis
We serve an amazing God
and He gives us others to spur us on as we walk this journey of life.
Thank you Jesus
p.s. I can not end this post without bringing up Duane- a brave father who has fought a courageous battle of cancer and is still fighting- His wife Linda walks by his side with a bravery much like Rita and has had her own battle with cancer. I am praying for you guys and your family and admire so much how you choose to honor God through all of your journey.
p.s.s. Thank you Rita and Kimberly for letting me post about you without you knowing :) :) :)
UPDATE 7/13/14
Just got the news that my mammogram results were 'non malignant'- (non cancerous)!! Thank you SO much for all the prayers and messages- It brought tears to my eyes reading all of your words of encouragement.
Rita
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| Janelle (L) Deb and I |
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