Whatever it was that I was fearing (the list of what I didn't fear would have been much shorter than the list of things I feared), I learned to follow my fearful thoughts all the way to the end- In doing this, the thought would loose it's control over me because there was no place my mind could go with that fearful thought that wasn't already hashed out between the Lord and I.
I am afraid of _________________.
What is the worst thing that could happen if this fear came true ____________________.
Years ago, when the fear chasing first started, I would be a heart pounding, hyper-ventelateing, fright or flight mess by the time I had mentally made it through the first thirty seconds of thinking through my fears. I really thought that if I started facing some of my fears, I would go crazy- the thoughts alone were sending me into panic attacks, I couldn't imagine what would happen if I confronted the fear and actually faced it. I have learned that this is not the case, it is in facing our fears, through the strength of Christ, that we find an unshakable peace.
'Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.'
Psalm 51:6
The challenge of fear chasing has been intense during this season. Many nights, I have laid awake, with my Bible under my pillow, and fear chased...
- I am afraid of not being strong enough- the weight of facing each day, compartmentalizing the deep feeling of homesickness and carrying on as usual, feels so heavy....what if, under the pressure, I break
- I am afraid of safety- not because it feels unsafe here (our town is small with an overall feeling of security) but the reality is, I am with my 4 year old daughter and 16 year old son in a country over 5000 miles away from home- We don't speak the language and are here during a refugee crisis.
- I am afraid of my Ryan's Lyme- Our family won't back down from fighting it but what if our fight is not enough
- I am afraid of others who are suffering- I can't take the pain away for them which makes it hard not to feel helpless
- I am afraid of being so far away from Matt and Eli- my heart literally aches from missing them
- I am afraid that my inability to go visit a concentration camp memorial or go visit sister Hatune (who is helping deliver women from sex slavery) while we are here in Germany is either a sign of good boundaries on my part or spiritual weakness, I can't decide which- I'm an internalizer and will carry the weight of another's hurts....I will process what those who entered the gates of the concentration camp went through (or the precious girls who have escaped sex slavery) and don't think I have the emotional capacity to give to processing their sorrow right now so am avoiding it all together
To every fearful thought I am chasing right now, the answer is all the same.
'Then you will know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.'
John 8:32
'For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.'
2 Timothy 1:7
The truth shall set us free and the Lord does not give fear (fear is from satan), He gives power, love, and a sound mind.
The truth that God is talking about in John 8:32 is the same truth that is giving me the strength to face each day and calm my fearful thoughts...
What is the worst thing that could happen if my fear, or any of our fears came true. Where can we find the power, love, and sound mind that God is calling us to walk in...
It is the truth that no matter what ever happens, God will still be on the Throne, He will still be in control, He would still be giving us the strength to face whatever He allows to come our way. It is the truth that nothing can ever separate us from Christ or the love He has for us. It may not be easy to face what He has allowed to happen in our lives BUT He will walk through it with us, giving us His comfort, strength, love, and peace the entire time. It is also the hope of eternity- life is so short with no promise of tomorrow but eternity has the promise of forever.
Thank you Lord Jesus that fear chasing leads me straight to you- straight to your comfort and strength. Thank you that 'He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the Shadow of the Almighty' (Ps. 91) and that your shelter and rest means a deep, rock solid peace that no matter what, you are in control and will see us through. Please Jesus, guard and comfort all of those who are suffering and sorrowing tonight- please draw them to you and give them a peace that passes all understanding. Please wrap your loving arms around them and fill them with the knowledge that you are cherishing every tear they cry. Lord, please let them know that their sorrow and hard time is not in vain- please fill them with the hope that from their pain you will rise up beauty and strength. Please let them not give up in despair. I love you Lord Jesus and thank you so much for dying on the cross so that we may live a life abundant both here and into eternity....Amen'
 |
| The yellow ribbon is in memory of my childhood friend Kristin's young son, Ethan. The Lord choose to bring him home this week- May Kristin and her family feel God's presence and comfort in a supernatural way as they walk through this season and may all of you who read this please talk a minute and lift this family up in prayer. |
No comments:
Post a Comment