Our Birth Mother Heather Shares

One of the many positive things about open adoption is the communication we get to have with our birth mom Heather.  Before we go any further I do want to say that prior to sharing this blog post I asked permission from Heather- Both Heather and I are on the same page in that if something in our adoption story will help others in the same situation and if we both agree the sharing will not hurt Ellie in the future when she is able to understand adoption at a deeper level- than it gets shared with others.  As in any adoption, there is information/stories/history that will only be shared between Heather, Matt, and I- Ellie will know her adoption story in it's entirety when she can understand and it will be her choice what she shares (although we do talk about Heather even now to Ellie......Ellie just discovered her belly button- I tell her that her 'button' had a cord that was attached to her birth mom Heather when she was in her tummy.......can Elle's understand this- not yet BUT someday she will.  I really appreciate the advise a close friend of mine, who is the mommy of 3 little adopted blessings told me- she talks about her children's adoption from the time they are very little- she feels this makes it normal/natural to talk about as they get older.)

The most asked question I get when people hear we have an open adoption is:

Are you ever worried that Ellie's Birth Parents will want her back?

I will share my answer along with Matt's in the next blog post- Today's post is between Ellie and Heather (a post that Heather graciously allowed to be shared)

For a little history on what it was like when Heather signed our placement papers see HERE

Elle's someday you may ask or wonder if your birth mom Heather ever wanted you back after she placed you with daddy and I....Here is what she had to say:

'I love being part of your lives- I chose adoption.  I'm sure I could have found someone willing to take temp. custody of Ellie...and I do want my child with me.  I imagine how life would be with you Ellie BUT even if everything was perfect to have you with me, who am I to come into your life and say 'I'm ready to be your mom now' and rip you away from the mother you know, the one who has taken care of your every need.  I chose adoption from the beginning because I do not want you to feel the impact anymore than you already have.  A mother is someone that loves and cares for a child- fulfilling your every need, forming an intense bond.  I would not ever want you (Ellie) to loose that.  Taking you away from the mother (Steph) you know is not an option for me- That is why you are not in someones temp. custody.'

Thank you Heather for your bravery in sharing something so close to your heart- We love you...