When A Friendship Breaks-

I was talking to my sister tonight about friendships- One's that were in days past but could not seem to find their rightful place in today-
What to do when a friendship you once held so dear to your heart has gone through a hard time- Feelings have been hurt, miss communication has trumped, and both your 'less than' sides reared their ugly heads.
As a Christian, what is the Godly approach?
I don't know if I am alone in saying this but I've gone through several friendship break-down's....I've been on both sides.....the one who has hurt a friend, and the one who was hurt- I've also been a part of a hurt friendship that was healed and thrived afterward and part of a friendship that after feelings were hurt the relationship was not restored......Along the way, God taught me a few lessons- boundaries of sorts.......

1. My priority is first to God, then to my husband, then to my kids, then to my extended family/friends- If a friendship is requesting a higher priority than the priorities God has commanded I need to take a step back and ask God for Wisdom.....This does not mean that I do not maintain healthy friendships beyond my husband and kids- As women, I believe we need the friendship of other women- It helps us grow in our maturity, our ability to give and receive, broadens our prospective to a bigger sphere then just 'our world'-  It also provides a vital accountability if we are struggling- God may use the words of your true friend to help guide you in making wise decisions (Prov. 27:6).  What I am referring to is the need to beware if a friendship is consuming me, causing me to compromise, causing emotional highs and lows- this could be an indicator that my priorities are not where they should be.
2. Pursue Peace while still being honest- This one is so hard.....In the past I have failed at this BIG TIME!  I was honest- but did not seek to have peace when speaking 'honesty' to my friend- I just wanted my feelings heard....Hebrews 12:14 say's to 'do everything you can to live at peace with all men.'  Honesty, God showed me, starts with myself- Where had I failed in the friendship?  What need was I looking to be met from this person- Evaluate which were healthy needs and unhealthy needs. I needed to take the unhealthy needs to God and let Him heal those as only He can do.  I also needed to ask my friend for forgiveness for anyway I had hurt her in the process of trying to get those unhealthy needs met.  
3. Get Tools-If your friend is willing and wanting to restore the friendship pursue getting tools (whether it be doing a Bible Study in a healthy Godly setting, praying about a Godly mentor that would be willing to step in and help keep accountability when you come across areas that are difficult to communicate through, etc...)
4. When and if it's time, Lovingly Let Go.........  sometimes it's easy to stay stuck in the 'what could have been' or the 'if only's'........If you have repented of any wrong doing to God and your friend, and tools have been sought to restore the friendship and still the friendship has not taken root- It's probably time to lift that friendship up to God and ask Him for the strength to compartmentalize it in a healthy way.  To lovingly step back from the friendship and move on.  

I wish we never had to move on from friendships........deep in my heart I am a 'lifer' friend who is passionate about friendships- But here on earth life's not perfect- Just one more thing to look forward to in Heaven....Eternal Friendships..........

My niece walking with her friend Sammi

Beautiful!