An Update From Our Birth Mom Heather...

Several times a week I will get asked about Ellie's Birth Mom- Who is she?  Where does she live? etc...  As most of you know, we have an open adoption and have stayed in contact with Heather (Our birth mom) on a regular basis.  In July/Aug. of last year Matt, Heather, and I opened the door for questions about anything adoption related (to read all 6 posts click on these numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6).  During this question time Heather answered the question a reader asked Matt and I 'Are you ever worried that Ellie's Birth Mom will want her back' (to read Heather's answer click on link 5 above).  This time around, I sent Heather a message with the top 7 questions we get asked about her personally (nothing to do with adoption).  See our conversation below:

From Me to Heather

Hey :) Have been meaing to ask you if you would feel comfortable doing an update on my blog- I get asked at least 3 times a week one or more questions about you and how you are doing. Basically what most people ask is

• Where you live?
•  How you are doing?
• What you are up to?
•  How is Caiden doing? (side note to this question: Our Ellie was Heather's 3rd child.  Ellie has 2 older biological brothers named Caiden and Justice (Joshua).  Heather placed Justice just after birth with a forever family, she is parenting Caiden (whom she brought out to Oregon), and placed Ellie with our famiily. 
• Are you and Rex still together- if not do you have a boyfriend (side note to this question: When Heather flew out to Oregon to deliver Ellie she brought her boyfriend Rex- Rex is not Ellie's biological father but is Heather's middle Son Caiden's father- Ellie's biological father Arthur and Heather broke up very soon after Heather became pregnant.  Rex came back into the picture shortly after Heather and Arthur broke up)
•  What do you do for a living, what do you do in your spare time?
•  And funny that this comes up so much but I get asked if you want more kids?

From Heather:

• I live in Georgia
•  I'm doing far better then I have ever done! i can geniunely say I'm happy- which I dont think I have ever been.
• Rex and I are not together. we were together off and on till caiden was 3. I think I have grown quite a bit in this last year and we will nver get back together. lol
• I am dating someone(a lot more casually then I have in the past!) he is 9 yrs older then me, has an excellent job and does not party or drink (much different then anyone ive ever dated before)
• Right now, I work as a housekeeper at a hotel and floor guard (referee) at the skating rink. both jobs I really like.
• For fun I play roller derby. I started in october. I didnt know how to skate at all and I was the only new girl (out of about 20!) to make the team. I'm pretty proud of that. (Caiden is REALLY good at skating now too ; ) )
• Do I want more kids? thats a tough one. I have lived a life of a complete irresponsibility. Things were always very chaotic and none of my 3 children were planned. the last year has built stability and accountability in my life. A part of me wants another child at home. For caiden to have a relationship with a sibling that he is missing out on with the brother and sister he has (altho he sees his brother every few months and will hopefully have more of a relationship with ellie as she gets older). I certainly have alot more growing to do and need to focus on Caiden right now. (and maybe even find the right man ; ) ) but, i dont see a child in my near future, if ever.

Thank you for being willing to share with us Heather- You are an amazing person and Matt and I are so proud of you!
We love you!!

Heather and Caiden 2012

Sharks, Water Spouts, and Estee Lauder

Here's the scoop- I'm laying on my couch with the flu for the 4th day (started Sun. at church.....I was feeling a weird heaviness in my chest during 2nd service and was getting dizzy and starting to cough..I leaned over to Matt and told him I was getting sick and wa-la here we are 4 days later still sick).  That's not what I am blogging about though- I'm trying to get my mind off the flu so thought I would post just random things I have been thinking about during this awful time confined..........So here goes 3 random flu induced thoughts :)

• In 2010 I was flying from Kauai to Portland- At the time, Hawaiian Airlines did not fly direct but would stop in Honolulu- When Taking off out of Honolulu, my seat was on the right side of the plane (if you were standing in the back of the plane looking toward the cockpit) toward the back.  Just after take-off our plane veered pretty strongly to the right and I found myself staring into the water- we were still fairly low and not too far off of shore (far enough that one could not swim to where we were but not so far that you could not see shore).......when I first glanced into the water I could not believe my eyes (I was traveling by myself and wishing one of my boys were with me so they could have seen what I saw)- A huge shark was swimming through the water........When our plane started leveling out and making it's way away from the area the shark was in I pressed my head against the window to get one last glance- I know there are sharks all over the ocean but for some reason between the size and the clarity that I could see the shark it stuck in my mind as a moment I knew I would probably never forget......
• Another 'not gonna forget' moment related to Hawaii.........again by myself and was wishing one of my boys were with me so they could have seen what I saw- I had just come up to the top of the drive way and was getting ready to make my way down into the ranch where we lived- At the top of the driveway is a panoramic view of the ocean- The sky looked weird towards the Poipu side of the island and I gave it a second look.  As soon as I gave the second look a funnel cloud dropped out of the sky and for a split second I was sure a hurricane was developing- it would have been a wimpy hurricane, not super wide but still a bit intimidating- When I got home I googled what it could be and came up with 'Waterspout'- That is the only one I personally saw but I think they are fairly common on the islands.
• Mary Kay foundation has been a staple in this girls make up bag for over 10 years- Full Coverage Baby!  I recently ran out and needed to get something ASAP- I went into a make up store and found the attendant with the best looking foundation- she sold me on Estee Lauder's Double Wear Foundation- she said she loved it.......I'm agreeing with her- It's Fantastic- does a great job covering but does not mat up or cake

Hope you are all having a great Thurs.

Water Spout

20 Months Old....

We have rounded the corner from 'baby' to 'toddler'........
Ellie is embracing her growing up beautifully- She's all about climbing and opening doors- because of this a new rule was just made in our house- if you go out a door (to the outside) lock it because Ellie will be right behind you if you don't.......
She will talk to anyone who will listen- usually about our dog Oklie ('Oklie bites' or 'Oklie's five' or 'No No Oklie') or asking those around her for a 'high five'...................
If you see her out and about you will most likely see her little hand waving to those passing by (she's got the beauty contestant elbow swag when she waves) and saying 'HI' ...She usually shouts her 'HI' and it comes out a bit southern sounding- I asked Matt the other night if Southern Accents could be genetic (Ellie's birth mom Heather is from Georgia and has an adorable accent).......He just looked at me and rolled his eyes- Still I swear she's got a bit of a Southern Accent and it's not from me!

At 20 months she is:

• wearing 12-18 months
• has 8 teeth still with a few more starting to come in
• size 3 diapers (convinced that we will never get beyond a 3- because of this I recently purchased enough diapers in size 3 to hopefully see us until potty training- Thank you Tina for the head's up on the good deal at Costco)
• weighs about 20 pounds (give or take a pound)
• sleeps 12 hours a night (7:30 p.m.- 7:30 a.m.)
• down to 1 nap a day
• still takes a bottle (I hope Ellie's Dr. does not read this blog- she was very firm that I needed to take the bottle from Elle's at a year old)
• eats a half of peanut butter sandwich everyday for lunch- she always opens the sandwich and picks as much pb out of it as she can (eats that) and then eats the bread

It is so fun for our whole family to watch Ellie grow up- to see her personality come out more and more (she's got some spunk!!)..........Elle's you are such a blessing!

Ryan took this pic of he and Ellie this morning :)

1977 & A Happy Birthday

My dad and I in 1977

Dad,

I just came across this picture and found it too beautiful not to share :)

I love you,
Steph

P.S. Also wanted to wish a fine little man named Vinny 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY!' 4 Already!!

I wonder if.......

I wonder if.....

• I wonder if a  Manolo Blahnik Candle is worth the $45-75 each.....would it be the smell plus the burn time that would make one spend that much on a candle- One day, given the right amount of extra in my bank account I think I just might try.
• 'Anthropologie is supposed to be carrying a super supurb hand cream' (Royal Apothic) is what Twitter had to say a few weeks back.  When I went to order I learned that it was out of stock! Bummer!! I wonder if they will be restocking.
• Totally switching subjects.......I wonder if it is time to start trying to potty train Elle's.  My friend Michelle stopped by and had to get something out of the back of her vehicle- We were talking so I followed her back.  Sitting so pink and cute was a little toilet in the back of her Surburban- Her daughter is potty training (she is a year older) and instead of having to use  public toilets when nature calls she can just bring J. out to the car.........GENIUS!
• Last one.....................I wonder if............the reason I can not think of a single other thing to say is because it's after 10 and I am so stinkin tired :)

Night All and Hope you had a wonderful Friday!




Last night at dinner I left the table to grab something out of the kitchen- While I was gone, and unknown to me, the boys let Ellie take a drink out of my water glass- she had a mouth full of food when she took the drink.  It was after I took the first drink after her that I knew something was not right with my water- I felt chunks going down and not just smooth water- When I brought my glass up to inspect that I saw the back wash..............GROSS!!!  : (-
p.s. all my boys had a good laugh

this week is 15 years

Sitting by our front door, on the left side, centered in between the side light and the knob rests a potted ivy plant- When manicured the ivy wraps around a topiary grape vine that makes the shape of a perfect heart- This plant joined our family just before Valentines Day in 1998- It was bought on impulse during a random trip to Target- It was a memorial of such- a physical reminder of something I knew my mommy's heart would never forget.

'Hey babe, I was looking at the ivy plant by our front door today.........this week is 15 years'  is what I told Matt a couple of night ago- we both just kind of sat quite for a minute after I said it- I then finished with 'our baby would be 15 this year.'

It is said that miscarriage is the 'secret heartache' for 1 out of every 4 women.
12 weeks had been spent growing a precious life inside my womb....For this precious life the Lord saw fit to usher into Eternity long before the first earthly breath- to a place where there is no death, mourning, crying, or pain........Such hope and comfort there is in Heaven and how exciting it will be for Matt and I to meet our baby someday!

'You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.' Psalm 139:16 NLT

Survivor & Sasquatches

Have you ever watched a reality TV show and imagined yourself 'in the situation'?

Back in the day, when I had panic attacks at the thought of flying (did not step foot on a plane for 10 years because I was too afraid to fly), I would watch the show Amazing Race and have a panic attack when the contestants would get on an airplane- I would imagine what it would be like if I was the one having to get on the plane and that's when the attack would come on.........

Then there is Survivor- I hear a new season is getting ready to start; I can not watch that show with out imagining myself in the 'situation'.  When I start imagining having to wear a bathing suit all day long every day, no make up, and not being able to do my hair I internally cringe.  What really freaks me out though is imagining that the show producers would not allow one to shave or pluck during the duration of the show........

The mystery whether Sasquatches are real or not would be over :) :) :)

 Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee!

Zoo Germs & Pestering Matt

I rarely marvel at animals- As a whole they are not something that can hold my attention.  My boys will watch animal type shows (usually those horrible ones where the lion herd is chasing the poor innocent antelope- they show in slow motion the awful attack) and when I see them coming on it's automatic exit for me.
Like you read in the last Blog Post, Matt and I were able to go away this past weekend- just the two of us.......no little nin'os.  I had googled what there was to do in the area we were going and half heatedly wrote down 'zoo'- I had been to this zoo once before with Ryan when he was younger and, besides the strong fishy smell in the penguin exhibit, found the whole experience decent......not a sparking me to go visit every zoo in North America decent but a mental note of 'this would be just fine to do again' decent.
Matt and I had an afternoon free on our get-a-way and the weather was perfect for something outdoors- Matt had seen my list of attractions and knew if he did not speak up fast he was going to find himself at the mall (surely we could find an outdoor mall) he quickly asked if I would like to go to the zoo.........

'Sure'

It really was fun- Seeing the welcome baby sign for the new elephant (300 pounds at birth ladies....and I thought my sister had large children- you ain't got nothing on this mama elephant sis!) and then seeing little Lily standing next to her mom :) Being able to take a pic of a bird that was stylishly 'color blocked'- The stinky penguin exhibit with the adorable follow the leader penguins- The monkey's swinging in front of the glass making everyone laugh (Matt swears someday we will own a monkey- ever since he heard our friends Lloyd and Holly talking about how fun it was to have a monkey....he's got a better chance of becoming a professional ballerina than owning a monkey.....when they get mad they throw their poop and ransack your house- not happening  here).........

As we were finishing up- making our way through the maze of both animals and people we noticed we had missed an exhibit- It was like both Matt and I were thinking the same thing as soon as we saw the over sized Hippo.........'This thing is not only unusually shaped but it is uniquely ugly!' I know Matt was thinking that too because when I looked over at him (so we could have a good laugh together) his mouth was hanging open (never in our 20 years together have I ever seen him gap with his mouth open at something).......not wanting to waste the moment I reached up with my finger and swiped it through his open mouth-

For the next hour I was trying to calm down my furious husband who swore I was trying to kill him by putting my dirty zoo germ finger in his mouth.......It makes me laugh just as hard while I am typing this as when I did it- Later, when he was in a more social mood I asked him what he thought about the hippo

'Large and ugly' (just as I thought) and then finished his sentence with 'and I WILL OWN A MONKEY SOMEDAY :)

Whim Weekends....YES PLEASE!

Wed night on a whim, I mentioned to Matt that we should go away for the weekend......please keep in mind I mention this to Matt once a  month and usually get the same answer...........'sorry babe, to much going on this weekend'
BUT NOT THIS TIME!
He shocked me by saying 'Sure! Let's go'.............

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Babysitter........check (I love you mom and pops)

3 nights 4 days to do whatever we please- Just the 2 of us........

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Happy 19th (early)Valentines day to my Matt and I!