oh, those moral dilemma's

It's always a challenge, at least for me, to stay off of the self-imposed 'idealistic' moral train. Meaning that what I would 'idealistically' do vs. what I would 'actually' do may be two different things.  As a Christian, my 'idealistic' side often tell myself that passive action is always right.  It's not a side of myself I readily admit, or show, that when my actions are not passive, I'm fighting off the guilt of whether or not I acted in the right way.  Often times, I will agonize in my prayers, wishing the Lord would take out my naturally assertive (and when prompted right, I'm flat out aggressive) side and instead replace it with a passive softness that others would admire.  The Lord has not granted my request, at least to date, so on I go, as the naturally assertive lady who's passivity and admired softness has escaped her (the humility of it all).

I say all of this, mostly to justify my response to a moral dilemma question we were given in Psychology class.  The class is online so our responses go onto a discussion board for the instructor and all the participating students to see (you do not get to see your fellow students responses until you have posted your own response).  When I first read the moral dilemma, I thought it through three ways.  First, what would be the idealistic 'Christian' response (in my idealistic mind, this would mean obedience and passivity).  Second, what would be my response (my real response with no idealism).  Thirdly, was my real response a Godly one.  If not, why wasn't my 'real' response Godly.  I settled fairly quickly on the fact that while my response is neither obedient or passive (and even includes breaking the law), it was one that I believe the Lord would be proud of me for making-    

Here's the scenario we were given:

'In Europe, a woman was near death from a special kind of cancer.  There was one drug that the doctors thought might save her.  It was a form of radium that a druggist in the same town had recently discovered.  The drug was expensive to make, but the druggist was charging ten times what the drug cost him to make.  He paid $400. for the radium and charged $4000. for a small dose of the drug.  The sick woman's husband, Heinz, went to everyone he knew to borrow the money and tried every legal means, but he could only get together about $2000, which is half of what it cost.  He told the druggist that his wife was dying, and asked him to sell it cheaper or let him pay later.  But the druggist said, 'No, I discovered the drug and I'm going to make money from it.' (jerk! this is my insertion :).  So, having tried every legal means, Heinz gets desperate and considers breaking into the man's store to steal the drug for his wife.'

______________________________

Here are the two questions we were asked to respond to (along with my responses).

1. Was the husband's behavior excusable under the circumstances? Why or why not?

Regardless of how much we might want to have the 'right' response and correct answer to questions like these, I don't think we ever truly know what we will do until we are faced with the situation.  When someone close to you is incredibly sick and suffering, you feel emotions of desperation and become willing to make sacrifices (both good and bad) that you did not know you were capable of. 

Instead of questioning the husband's behavior, I would challenge the moral and ethical behavior of the druggist.  I would call to light the oath he took as he became a druggist and the specific statement in that oath that says this:

"I promise to devote myself to a lifetime of service to others through the profession of pharmacy. In fulfilling this vow:

• I will consider the welfare of humanity and relief of suffering my primary concerns. 
• I will apply my knowledge, experience, and skills to the best of my ability to assure optimal outcomes for my patients.
• I will respect and protect all personal and health information entrusted to me.
• I will accept the lifelong obligation to improve my professional knowledge and competence.
• I will hold myself and my colleagues to the highest principles of our profession’s moral, ethical and legal conduct.
• I will embrace and advocate changes that improve patient care.
• I will utilize my knowledge, skills, experiences, and values to prepare the next generation of pharmacists.

I take these vows voluntarily with the full realization of the responsibility with which I am entrusted by the public.”

Is it adequate care that the druggist would not budge on the price of medicine that could save somebody's life?  Considering the amount that he himself marked the medicine up?  Is he taking his position of authority and abusing it to the point of causing an individual (the husband) intolerable stress.  Is this really a case of a druggist who baits a patients family, forcing them into either crime or death?  Yes, it is.  

In this case, the druggist needs to be disbarred and fined and possibly serve prison time for his actions.

The husband, bless his heart, needs to be reassured that he was forced into a decision that was never his burden to carry.  If the law did choose to punish him, he can hold his head high and know that what he did was, at it's core, heroic.  

I would have made the same decision as the husband.  There's a part of me that wants to act like I would come up with something legal and more rational but the reality is, forced to make a choice between my husband dying or stealing the medicine he needed to live, I would steal the medicine and not have one regret that I did.

(In this situation, I choose human rights and universal human ethics over law and order and obedience)

2. If you were the husband, what could you have done instead of stealing the drug?

Time was of the essence for this gentleman's wife so saving for the treatment does not sound like an option.  He pursued borrowing money from those he knew.  I'm sure he begged the doctor to lower the cost of the treatment.  If he owned property or livestock, he could have possibly sold those things.  If there was another doctor around, he could ask him to sell it to him for cheaper.  

This is random....I keep seeing an ad for an online site that sells prescription glasses.  Out of curiosity (and because I desperately need reading glasses), I went to their sight and was intrigued that you could upload a picture of yourself and 'try' on glasses.  I spent an hour 'trying' on glasses and bouncing back and forth between cringing and laughing. (glassesusa was the site)

the date they will never forget

A little over a year and a half ago, as Ryan was walking out the door, he casually mentioned that he was taking a girl on a date.
'Do I know her?' was my reply
'No'
'Where did you meet her?'
'At the Rodeo'
I was really hoping for at least a name I knew (who I could stalk on Facebook or Instagram) and a little unenthusiastic that he had met a girl at the rodeo.
'What's her name?'
'Danika'
'Is she a Christian?'
'Yes, mom' was his annoyed response.
I explained to Ry that it was fine for him to take her out once, but, if he decided to take her out again, Matt and I needed to meet her and she would need to spend some time at our house so we could get to know her.

And here we are, a year and a half later.

This past Sunday, Dankia and Ryan were celebrating their year and a half together with homemade chocolate covered strawberries and a dinner out.  They started the strawberries towards the later afternoon, both of them eating quite a few (who knew that Ghirardelli makes a dipping chocolate for covering strawberries...um...yum!).  Within a few hours of the strawberries, they headed out to dinner.

Matt and I were sitting in the living room not even 45 minutes after they left when our back door opens up.  Danika went straight to our back bathroom and Ryan came walking into the living room.  A slightly stunned look on his face.

'Hey Ry, why are you guys back so soon?'

He simply replied that he had to get into the shower because he had throw up all over him.  By this time, Danika was walking into the kitchen with the same stunned look on her face and looked somewhat overwhelmed.  She told me that she had started feeling sick at the restaurant and had needed to throw up on her way home (I was thinking it was a case of eating the chocolate covered strawberries so close to eating dinner vs. food poisoning).

I was trying to piece together why they both seemed a bit overwhelmed and stunned while knowing that we needed more info to understand this story completely......

While at the restaurant, Danika started feeling sick after she had eaten some of her caesar salad.  Mid way through their meal, she told Ryan that she had to go immediately because she was feeling so bad.  He had his food put in a to-go box and they left.  She had driven them in her car so was in the drivers seat, driving back to our house.  It was cold on Sunday, so the windows were up in her car and the heater was going.

The feeling that she was going to actually throw up snuck up on her.  She didn't have time to pull over or roll down her window.  Before she knew it, she had thrown up on the front of her.

Ry, being my spawn, took one whiff of her throw up in that hot confined car and ,before he could get the window down or have her pull over, threw up all over himself.......

Poor, Poor,  Danika- As Ryan threw up, she got a whiff of the smell and promptly threw up all over herself again.

They were popcorn barfing back and forth.  One then another then back to the first one who barfed!

AHAHHAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Can you even imagine, guys.  Your a young kid, on a date, and you have this happen!

As the full story came out, I laughed until I cried (and am still laughing).
Danika took a shower at our house, washing the throw-up out of her hair (and all down the front of her) while Ry, after showering, rented a steam cleaner to clean all of the throw up out of Danika's car!

Happy Year and a Half dating Anniversary Ry and Danika- someday, this experience will be hilarious to you (I promise).  I also guarantee this is a date you will never forget!!

what's enough

For most, defeatment is easy for us to take on.  Self doubt creeping in right behind.
We measure our success by the perfectionist chart, and, at some level, always seem to fail.
Whether it's being a spouse, a parent, an employee, running a ministry, in our friendships (or lack of), our physical looks, being a student, etc.  Maybe it's our relationship with the Lord- we try and try and try but never feel like we are growing enough, learning enough, pouring out enough for Him.

We tell ourselves we are not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, not worthy enough.  Always feeling like we come up short.

As of yesterday evening, I have taken two mid terms this week- Both in Anatomy (BI231 Lab and Lecture).

I laid in bed last night, going over questions I did not know the answers to on the Anatomy mid term, trying to count up how many I had gotten wrong and what I thought my grade was going to come back at.  I was up again a little before five this morning, going over the chapters in the book the exam covered, looking at what the correct answers were to as many of the questions I could remember from the test.  Shoulders sagging and a pit in my stomach, I realized that several of my answers had been wrong.  I mentally tallied what I thought my grade was going to be (probably low B but possibly a high C), defeatment trying to set in.  For how many hours I studied, I would have expected myself to know more on the test.  Expected myself to have retained the hundred plus new terms better.

I began praying, telling the Lord that I felt like I didn't do good enough and that something was wrong with my retention.  Telling Him that I was disappointed in myself and my performance.

I finished praying and sat rocking in the chair, debating whether to go back to bed (my brain and body are tired).  As I was rocking, back and forth, back and forth, I could feel my thought process beginning to change.  It began to brighten and cheer up.

I was focusing on the questions I knew I answered wrong.  Focusing on the failure.  The areas I had come up short.

I studied hard, had done all of the homework and reading assignments, and had answered the best I could.  The reality is, I had given it my all.

What if I was focusing on the wrong thing, and, in doing this, defeating myself.

If the test is worth 100 points and I am able to get a low B.  That would mean that 20% of the test I answered incorrect and 80% would have been answered correctly.  My focus was solely on that 20%.

In three weeks time our Anatomy and Physiology class has taken in well over 100 new vocabulary terms.  In those new terms, we are having to learn not just the overall meaning but the nitty gritty details and application of those terms.  With all of that, we are required to spell those new (and sometimes long) words correctly.  We are having to grasp an almost insurmountable amount of knowledge.  With this difficult (but very rewarding) class, I am also taking 3 other classes that have their own learning curve and challenges.  This would be a stretch for most people's brain, not just mine.

I could feel the Lord pressing on my heart to give myself grace and to be thankful.

Yes, I did get several questions wrong.  I didn't get an A on the exam.
but,
Think of all the answers I got right :)

Focus and perspective is so important in life.  When I focus on myself and my expectations, I will always fall short.  When I focus on Jesus, asking Him for His perspective, His wisdom, and the ability to experience His Grace, I will succeed every time.  The success may not look like straight A's, it may not look like a perfect body or children that turned out the way we hoped they would.  It may not be an ideal marriage or a thriving ministry....it may not be...you fill in the blank.  That's ok.  When we know that we are honoring and trusting God with our life circumstances, no matter the outcome, we will be able to rest in His peace and grace that it was and is good enough for Him, and that is what truly matters.

Thank you Jesus for your grace on us and for the grace you ask us to give ourselves!  Thank you that you don't require us to be perfect, but instead, ask us to rest in Your perfection. 

  Thank you that you are enough.

One of the MANY pages of notes I took before this past mid term

Here comes the bones!! This is one of the page of bones we will be memorizing (location in the body and function among other things) in the coming weeks.