2 BBQ'S AND A WEDDING

We've had a full weekend!  My nephew (on Matt's side) Greg and his girlfriend Emily (of 6 years) were married yesterday- After the wedding we were invited to a BBQ at Greg's parents, Mark and Judie's house (my sis and bro in law)- I wish I would have taken pictures of their back yard- It really is like a park- so beautiful.......This morning we got up and went to Church- there was only one service because of the Holiday weekend- After Church we were invited to go out to Kevin and Lesa's house (Matt's sister and bro in law) for a BBQ- We spent the afternoon eating some delicious ribs, salad, bread, and Baked.Potatoes!  My boys had a great afternoon swimming and hanging out with their cousins  

As I have been typing out this blog post, I have Ellie laying on my chest- I am also eating Rosemary Olive Oil Triscuits in between typing...........It dawned on me, as I was crunching away on my Triscuit that Ellie was being really quiet- I glanced down at her mid chew and saw that her eyes were WIDE open and she was staring at me eating- As soon as I quit eating she looked away and sucked on her pacifier- I would also like to mention that she can both sneeze and cough while still holding her bottle in her mouth :)

From Left to right- My friends Deb (holding Ellie), Kristi, and Treva

My sis in law Judie being walked down the aisle
at Greg and Em's wedding by my nephew Brandon (L) and Josh (R)
her husband Mark is bringing up the rear :)

Emily (looking so beautiful) and her dad Tom

Greg and Em

Married

Matt's Dad

Matt's Mom

My sis in law Lori (L) and my sis in law Heidy (R)

Matt's dad holding Ellie

My boys and their cousins swimming

Niece's Kate and Kate

Niece's and Nephew's just hanging out

Respecting While Moving Forward And First Pictures

I just need to say this for my own peace of mind, not because I think that anyone else needs to hear it- 

Being a natural communicator, I don't like to leave things unsaid- Some people are good about letting the obvious go 'unspoken'- I am not one of those people- If it is obvious, I will more than likely just say it...........where am I heading with all of this- I want to start posting pictures of Ellie joining our family- I have been very cautious about doing this because of wanting to be very respectful of Ellie's birth mom/family- giving them what we feel is the respect and honor they deserve- Heather carried Ellie for 36+ weeks.........she endured countless months of vomiting, heart burn, aches, pains, etc... - She did this because she loves little Ellie- part of loving Ellie meant that Heather choose to place her with us.  I believe the Lord allowed me to be present at the signing of the consent forms, the forms that released Heather as Ellie's guardian, and placed Matt and I in that position because It was not until that moment that I understood Heather's love for Ellie.  Heather, I am saying this on my blog to you because I want not only you to know, but every person that will see my blog to know how appreciative and thankful we are to you- Thank you for the gift of Ellie- As much as I can, I will include you and your family in my blog posts because I think that you guys are a big piece of Ellie's story- As you are healing both physically and emotionally from all that has gone on please know that we are faithfully praying for you...............please also know Heather that the pictures of Ellie I am going to start posting are in no way a disrespect to you- They are meant to affirm the decision you made to place Ellie with us- you will see a joy and genuine love not only on Matt, Eli, Ryan, and my face but also on our families and friends faces- 

I hold very close in my heart the decision you made to sign the consent papers- even as I write the above sentence I have tears pouring down my face- I stand with you in any feelings of grief you have faced or will face in the future- I also know that you made the perfect decision for Ellie- Ellie will be and is adored, loved, cherished, and taught to respect the decision you made- She will grow up knowing that the decision you made was one of love............We love you Heather very much- May God Bless and keep your life even today and may our families be blessed with the opportunity to see each other again soon.

With That being said- 

Aside from the picture of me holding our little Ellie (and aside from the picture of her feet I just could not resist posting)- the below pictures are the very first time each of my boys saw and held Ellie-

P.S. Ellie........I love you baby girl- I love that we get to spend several times during the night looking at each other (10 pm 12pm 2am 4am 6am)- I love that I am looking for a thicker concealer to hide those brown tired bags under my eyes......I love that I am so tired because you joined our family!!!!

Ellie and Jayme

My friend Val had her baby Jayme exactly 10 weeks earlier than Ellie- We laid them next to each other a couple of days ago and could not resist taking the below picture- Just to give you a feeling for their sizes- Ellie wears preemie clothes and Jayme wears size 3 months :)

I'm Still Here!!

Hey Everyone!!
I am still here and itching to get back to regular blogging- I am hoping to have time to sit down and bust out a post tonight- that is if my 35 year old eyelids don't shut before I get a chance-

Ellie is doing AWESOME- she is absolutely adorable- we are hoping that she will break the 5 pound mark soon (she was born at 5lbs 3 oz but left the hospital at 4lb 12 oz- She is currently 4lbs 15 oz).  Eli and Ryan are adjusting great to having a little sis- Oklie is a bit stand-offish and kinda pouty but I'm sure will adjust to her little sis soon :)

Talk to you soon and I really really really miss blogging!

P.S. isn't she adorable

The Love Of A Mother

I wrote this post earlier this week but could not post it on my blog because an adoption Web Site picked the story up- the rules with their site is that they have the rights to publish your story first- To see it on their site HERE is the link- or just read below:

I just looked over my yesterday's Blog Post and knew in the depths of my soul that I wanted to share with you something really deep and profound that I have learned going through the process of adoption placement-
I have learned that the love of a mother, whether you parent or place, is a deep bond that does not discriminate.  It is there if you choose to parent your child and it is there if you choose to place your child with a forever family- I thought that the bond would be different- like women that choose to place can automatically turn off the 'bond' and feel nothing when placing their child- I firmly believe that if they tell you they feel nothing- that may be the case at the time- but deep down, maybe buried in a place in their soul that will not present itself for years and years, exists a 'forever' bond-  I believe the same is true for an adoptive child- I have no doubt that Ellie will wrestle with her placement- I know that whether she voices her wondering thoughts or not her biggest question for Heather (Ellie's birth mom) will be 'why'.....I believe Ellie will ask this question because the same God given bond that is in the birth mom is also in the birth child- Again, they may deny it, vent their thoughts of it in unhealthy ways, or face the delicate issue head on...
You might wonder where I am heading with this post- Why am I talking about something that I myself have never faced?  I've never placed a child and I have never been physically adopted (although I have experienced the trauma of a broken and divided family while growing up- which research shows brings about a lot of the same feelings that a child of adoption faces)- because I have to put a voice to what I witnessed last night (our birth mother signing the official documents for Matt and I to adopt Ellie)- The option to stay quiet is small in comparison to the option to share with the hundred or so people who will read this post- who will then share it, maybe even just in passing with their friends, and the cycle of awareness will start- I feel like I have to give our birth mother and birth mothers everywhere a voice- A voice from the other side- from the Adoptive mom's side:
I would encourage you the next time you hear someone say 'How in the world could a mother give away her child' to respond with 'because they love them'- True Love is not self seeking- It wants what is best for the other person........our birth mother, along with millions of other birth mothers, made the decision to look beyond themselves- they looked at their ever expanding belly- at the life growing inside of them- carrying their DNA- their features- and say to their unborn child...............I love you enough to acknowledge that I will always be your birth mom but I need help in raising you so you will have an adoptive mom......I love you enough to say no to my desire keep you all to myself, even though I know it would not be best for you-
I love you enough to say yes to adoption!

Ellie Marie and her Birth Mom Heather

Heather Marie

This blog post is dedicated to our birth mom- who at 11:10 p.m. tonight made probably one of the hardest decisions of her life- To sign papers to place Ellie Marie with us as her forever family- While our hearts are ecstatic at our newest addition (Whoop Whoop) we also stand with Heather in grief over the placement.
Heather- Matt and I admire your decision so very much- Thank you for Ellie- the below pictures are for you

 To God Be The Glory

Dear Ellie Marie,

Guess What Ellie...I got to spend an afternoon with you and your birth mom today-  Your birth mom and I met (in person) for the first time yesterday but only spent a few minutes together as we left the airport (where I picked her up) and drove her to where she is staying.  I was able to spend a couple hours with you guys this afternoon- enough time to learn that you are feeling quite big to your birth mom and that she can feel you stick your arms and feet out against her stomach- you are due in one month which makes you about 5-6 pounds and about 18 inches long (Ellie was born 2 days after I posted this blog post.  She weighed 5 lbs. 3 oz. and was 17 3/4 inches long).  I love knowing that you and your birth mom are staying just down the street from us and that you will be born in the same hospital that Eli and Ryan were born at- in fact, the same doctor that delivered Ryan will be delivering you.....See you soon sweetie!!

 36 weeks gestation