Prayer For Precious Nicholas

4/13/15- Nick underwent his 4th Heart Surgery this morning at Doernbecher Children's Hospital in Portland- The surgery went well and his recovery is going great too (Praise God).  Please keep Nick and his family in your prayers as he continues to recover-
Here is a picture Nick's mom Kristi posted on her facebook wall this morning just before surgery.
Nick, Kristi, Lenny, Kailin, and Jacob we are praying for you-
Love you guys

2015

SCROLL DOWN FOR NICHOLAS STORY- THIS BLOG POST WAS ORIGINALLY POSTED 3 YEARS AGO DURING NICK'S 3rd HEART SURGERY.
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I am introducing my dear friend Kristi to you today. Kristi and I have gone to church together for almost a decade- Over the course of those years I have seen first hand the incredible faith Kristi and her family displays as they face the medical issues their son Nicholas has had to endure.

Kristi- It is with a heavy heart that I post this blog tonight........I love you friend and will be faithfully praying as your family get's ready to head to Stanford for Nicholas 3rd heart surgery- May God Bless and keep you all-
SCROLL DOWN TO READ NICHOLAS' STORY..................

Nicholas 2015

NICHOLAS' STORY AS TOLD BY HIS MOM KRISTI:
There is nothing more heart-wrenching than saying goodbye to your child as a medical team wheels him through those double doors to take him into surgery. Waiting for 5 or 6 hours knowing that his heart is stopped and a machine is keeping him alive – horrible. And there are no words for how a mom’s heart feels seeing her precious boy for the first time after surgery with tubes and wires attached to seemingly every part of his body, eyes closed, body limp, not able to breathe on his own. Knowing the kind of pain that he will be in when he eventually wakes up.

Yet in the midst of the physical and emotional pain is peace and blessing. God is so real you can almost feel Him. Surrender…… at some point in our journey, we had to surrender. That moment is forever etched on my heart. My little guy was fast asleep and I was sitting by his bed watching him sleep. Then, the tears started flowing and the prayers. At that moment, I knew that every time I had ever said, “My children are yours Lord, I trust you,” there was a piece of me that didn’t completely mean it. I trusted Him, but asked (begged) that He not let anything bad happen. I wanted His will but I wanted some control, too. I knew He loved them but that had to mean He’d never let them suffer. So, that night for the first time I started to mean that prayer, really mean it. No matter the cost, God’s plan was the best. When that plan was done, He would take my children home. And, I had to be o.k. with that – I either trust Him or I don’t………..

I guess I should rewind so you can follow our family’s story from the beginning….

It’s a boy!! A perfect, healthy, beautiful baby boy – the words every expectant parent longs to hear when birth day arrives. They were the words we heard when our son Nicholas was born almost 12 years ago. Those words were the answer to our prayers of “It doesn’t matter what we have, as long as he or she is healthy.” We never imagined what a crazy, amazing journey we were beginning after such a “normal” start to our son’s story.

When Nicholas was a year old, we were blown away to find out that he had actually had a heart murmur since birth but we were not told since “these things usually disappear on their own.” And then imagine the shock when the cardiologist said he had a congenital (meaning present at birth) heart defect that would need surgery some day. Much to our relief, his defect was fairly minor and in the vast majority of cases, completely fixed after surgery with no long-term problems.

Well, it hasn’t quite worked out that way. His first open heart surgery occurred the day after his third birthday. The defect was repaired but our surgeon told us it was not “normal.” We’d have to give it some time to see what that would mean for Nicholas. It didn’t take much time. Six months later, it was clear that something unexpected had happened in his heart. Now his aortic valve didn’t work properly. Six years later he went in for his 2^nd surgery with a badly leaking valve and an enlarged heart. To our great relief, the surgeon was able to fix the valve that, as it turns out, had been damaged by his original problem. Our world-renowned surgeon was highly confident the repair would last at least 5 years.

Today, Nicholas’ journey is still winding around turns that we don’t understand. It’s only been two and a half years since his 2^nd surgery but on March 23^rd, he goes back in for #3. His leak is bad again, his heart has enlarged further, and sometimes he feels winded or tired. We get to choose between crummy choice A and crummy choice B. A biological valve that will only last 5-10 years or a mechanical valve that requires daily blood thinning medication and monthly blood work. And, in all likelihood as his heart grows, either valve will become too small. He will almost definitely need a surgery #4.

To be honest, there are moments I feel as though I’ve been punched in the gut; I can’t breathe, and I just want to throw up. But most of the time, I am so thankful for our journey. I have watched God provide for our needs and bring amazing people into our lives. I see how my son affects the medical staff he is around and how he touches their hearts. I have a compassion for families in crisis that would not have existed before. I am thankful for the perspective change when I see the kids and their families in the hospital who are facing terminal illness, months in the hospital, and those precious little bald heads. I have learned that my definition of perfect is not God’s definition and there are no mistakes. I would never choose this story for my son. But it is the one God wrote for him.

I asked Nicholas what he would say to people about his heart. Here are his words: “I’m ok with having a heart condition. I can’t do a lot of things that other kids can do with a normal heart. But, with my heart condition I can tell people that they can get through anything. God helps me to always look forward (to after recovery) and not focus on what’s about to happen (surgery). Sometimes I pretend not to have a heart problem and that helps me. If you know someone who is going to have a baby soon, don’t expect the baby is going to come perfect. Bad things can happen to people close to you. Nothing bad happens without a purpose. God has a plan.”

Of course, we would appreciate prayers for his upcoming surgery and recovery, for financial and logistical issues, and making wise choices for Nicholas. Thanks for reading our amazing & courageous son’s story.

Blessings,

Kristi

L to R: Lenny, Kailynn, Nicholas, Kristi, and Jacob

Come Sit Outside With Me Me Me!

This time last year marked our 22 month in Hawaii- It marked our 12 month of waiting for the right adoption placement........Matt and I were trying to decide whether to stay in Hawaii or move home........My heart was so heavy with longing for our baby, Home Sickness, and missing comfort zone- 2 day's ago over one year ago, I got up in time to see the sun rise.......I had long since forgotten to look at my surroundings with joy and amazement.  When I looked around I would see the same things.......mountains, ocean, green grass, and work- In my mind it was 360 degrees surrounding me at all times-
Just before the sun rose I hear Matt's voice....'come sit outside with me'.......I replied to his request with a shrug as I followed him out the door........We were headed to look at the same mountain I had stared at 1000 times-
As we sat, I looked around me- my eye's were seeing the same thing I had seen so many times before......my heart carrying the same annoyances and burdens- the weight of my self imposed grievances radiating off of me...
I wish I could tell you what my thought process was to make the transition I am about to describe but for the life of me I can't remember (hee! I could sound super spiritual and say I begged God for it)- What I do remember is a firefly looking bug flew over to Matt and I and hovered- Like it was looking right at us- I was completely flattered that it choose to stick around and check us out.......As I was watching it my focus was transitioning from me to it-
He flew away for just a bit and my gaze followed- I picked my eye's up with an expectation that I would see something different than the view I had seen 1000 times before- My expectations exceeded anything I could have imagined- His flight took him around the butterfly bush that was teaming with caterpillars, whizzing by the red bird sitting on the fence post eating bird food, over the red geranium that I had no clue had bloomed, and out into the field where his fellow species were at.......
I wanted to remember the moment- the lesson taught.  I ran inside the house and grabbed my camera.  Wouldn't it be so easy if a simple picture could cause a lesson taught to be a lesson learned!!

While the lesson was taught that March day, I am sad to say I am a slow learner- My view is so often me- my attitude is often petty and filled with annoyances- Think of the moments I've missed and the opportunities passed by because of my refusal to pick my eye's up and look beyond the me me me to the amazing blessings God puts in my path every minute of everyday.

Heavenly Father please help me to live each moment with appreciation- Forgive me for the times I have chosen to keep my focus on myself and turned a moment you had for blessing into a moment of selfishness.

Below are some of the pictures I took on the morning above.

Our firefly looking spectator

Leopard Print......rrrrraaarrrrr!!!

By my 2nd month in Beauty School (1994) I was pumped!!! I was graduating from only being able to work on mannequins while being confined to the instruction room  to working on the 'floor'- There was a group of us that started Beauty School together that October- We had all been told the same story by our instructor Miss Roux......'Statistically only 10% of those who begin beauty school will graduate and of those 10% only 3% will still be doing hair after 5 years'.  I looked around the small table where we were gathered and wondered which of us would be the failing statistic-
Brian had just moved down from a town 3 hours North of us, Janette was trying to better herself by getting a trade behind her to help support her 2 little girls, Sara was a natural- she caught on to everything super quick, Margie M. had amazing red hair and was a fire cracker- she had me convinced that no woman should be without a concealed weapons permit, Margie H. could have you talked out of any possession you own- the girl was a classy mooch (she didn't just come out and ask for what she wanted- she worded it so that you felt this need to give it to her), and Max......Max was all about his girl friend who was pregnant with their son that they were going to name Max-
As we were being ushered out onto the floor (except for Sara- who had found out she was pregnant in that 2 month time and decided not to keep going) and shown our station's I distinctly remember thinking I had it all under control- I had been doing hair since I was 11 years old and in my mind I knew it all......
Back in the day, when you made an appointment at a beauty school you could choose what level of hair dresser you wanted- The cheapest was the freshman (right out of the instruction room with no experience on 'actual' people) up to a senior- which was someone getting ready to graduate from the school- The price range would go from $4. for a haircut by a freshmen up to $8. from a senior-
In my know it all state, I turned my nose up to asking for any sort of help and dove right in- Bring on those clients and make sure I get the colors cause I love me some colors........
The poor unsuspecting woman that sat in my chair that first day- She had short black hair that in my mind needed hi-lights......I envisioned her (after I was done of course) with blonde accenting those black locks- she would be asked by all of her colleges at work who had done her hair and then the beauty school would have a line out the door with people wanting my expertise........hee! hee!
Doing a Weave was not allowed yet at my school- It was to new and the instructors wanted us to stick with a method called frosting- Frosting was when you put a tight plastic cap on one's head- the cap had small blue markers where you would use your sharpened crochet hook to break the lining of the plastic and pull through small amounts of hair all over- If your hair was long, it looked like spaghetti noodles dangling out when you had bleached the hair-
As I put the frosting cap on my client I noticed that it had already been used once- someone had made some pretty big holes when they had pulled the previous person's hair through- Not to worry though because I would not use those same holes- I would make my own holes- smaller ones that were closer together-
After the appropriate hair was pulled through and the bleach was put directly on the plastic cap and extended out to the ends of the hair- I put my client under the dryer to process my perfection-
As I was rinsing the finished product I knew something was not right- Her hair looked just like someone had skinned a leopard and placed it on her head-
This whole story is true- each and every last word...........She took one look in the mirror and a shocked look came over her- the shock wore off and in it's place she furrowed her brows- I called over my instructor to figure out what in the world was going on- Collette (instructor) got a twinkle in her eye and asked me if I had used a 'used' frosting cap- with my confirmation she said that because I had put the bleach directly on the plastic cap- it had  settled into the big holes that were already on the cap and left the leopard prints- As she was explaining all this to me my client had worked those furrowed brows into a death glare and then to a full blown fury- Nobody tried to stop her as she jumped up out of the chair and stomped out of the school- right past the desk where you pay and out through the glass store front door.....
Until I was a senior, I never did another color without consulting my instructors and asking every possible question I could about what I was doing-
Pride really does go before a fall :)
My whole Freshmen Class (except for Sara) graduated and as of 10 or so years ago, we were all still doing hair :) Put that one in your statistics!!

:) :)

18 tips to celebrate 18 years of marriage

This July marks Matt and my 18th Wedding Anniversary- I would be lying if I said it was all bliss :) We've had amazing moments and we've had really hard, painful moments.........I think of our friends Margie and Dennis who celebrated their 41 wedding anniversary- I would love to hear their list of tips- What has helped to navigate their marriage through the 41 successful years- I would ask for 41 as it seems fitting to go along with their years of marriage (I'm gonna send them this blog post and see if they will do it- If they do I will most definitely post their tips!!)
Here's my compiled list of tips.......

1. I've got to put this at the top of my list cause without Him I honestly do not know where Matt and I would be as not only people but as a married couple- GOD..........God covers the gaps that we as humans are unable to cover- He meets the needs and gives strength so that we can make it through not only life but marriage.
2. DATE NIGHT- A faithful ritual since Eli was a baby carried on through Ryan and now Ellie......It's so easy to let our marriage loose priority when we are dealing with the everyday demands of life- 
3. KEEP THE PASSION ALIVE- I am a firm believer that it's healthy to let your kids see you kiss your husband/wife......heck, go as far as to slap each other on the butt once in awhile in front of them :)
4. BE A PART OF EACH OTHERS STORY- Matt and I do not have a ton in common......sometimes on the fly we will do something with the other person just so we can be part of the others story (example- Matt will go on a walk with me or go walk around Good Will with me- both of which he despises.....when I ask why he's going he'll say 'cause I want to be part of your story'.......This morning I found myself driving to a town a half hour away with him while he did some business so I could be part of his story)
5. Say 3 things you love or admire about each other everyday
6. Show up unexpectedly at the other persons work just to say 'hi' and I love you
7. Laugh together........especially over the situations that are completely stressful
8. Pray together and Pray for each other
9. Leave random notes saying you love each other
10. Send a text 'just because' with something special (not 'I'm taking a dump!' hee! hee!)
11. Ask each other how you honestly feel about something you are facing
12. Hold Hands
13. Fight for healthiness in your marriage- don't give up......
14. On the above note- COMMUNICATE- Even if it means going to see a counselor- Matt and I have gone 2 times in our marriage.....once at about 5 years and once at about 10 years- both times were regarding learning to communicate better- If we keep on our cycle, we are about 3 years overdue!
15. My sister in Law Liz sat on my couch and gave me this advise- 'Take a Risk.......Risk giving your heart over and over to your spouse- even when you want to hold back and hang onto that hurt or grudge..'
16. Be individuals as well as a couple- enjoy things together as well as separate
17. Say I love you every chance you get- every phone conversation- every text you send- It's something that can not be said enough
18. It's got to be said just one more time and on an ending note.............DON'T GIVE UP- It's gonna be so hard during some seasons but remember that after every storm comes clear blue skies.....

A Daddy and His Girl

Matt stayed very practically minded during our adoption process- He attached enough to the process itself to functionally complete the home study and education required to begin our adoption process but did not overly attach himself to the point that he could 'imagine' life with a baby- His view was he would process those feelings if/when our adoption became a reality. He would roll his eye's every time I would come home with baby clothes (pre adoption) and would say the same thing 'Don't you want to see if we adopt or not'- I would  answer that, for my personality type, I would rather be prepared for adoption (both emotionally and practically) then shocked or unprepared when it happened.  

I called Matt a little after midnight on June 18, 2011 (We were living in Hawaii at the time and I had flown in to Oregon the prior week to meet our birth mom Heather- Matt stayed back in Hawaii to work until Ellie was born) to let him know that I was on my way to pick up Heather because she was feeling some pretty consistent contractions.  Heather and I were going to the Hospital so she could get evaluated....the evaluation confirmed that Ellie would be born within the day.  

At the news that Elle's would be arriving, I saw the first non practical emotion from Matt.....a simple 3 word text illuminated the hospital room in those wee morning hours.......'I'm so excited!'

That first non practical emotion gave way to a flood more.........'She's amazing' I hear him say at least once a day- 'Your perfect, your beautiful...' are the words pouring out of his mouth as she crawls over to him and say's 'da da'- It is so wonderful to see that without guard or hesitation, this daddy ADORES his little girl........

Thank you Lord Jesus for the beautiful gift of adoption- For Ellie, her birth mom Heather, and for the support our family and Ellie's biological has shown......May you always be glorified through her precious life.

The first time Matt held Elle's

Multi Tasking :)

3 Months Old

Love this

She's Almost.........

She's:

almost 9 months

almost 15 pounds

almost cut her 3rd tooth

crawling everywhere 

pulling herself up to a stand if she can hold onto something

say's 'da da' at least 10 times a day

so loved and adored....

I love you precious girl,

Mommy

The Debt

Whenever I walk through our local public Library I keep to the same routine- First look at the shelf containing the 'new arrivals' and then make my way through the fiction section.  Unless it's celebrity or  Corrie Ten Boom related, I usually shy away from non fiction.  As I was typing this post I was trying to think of the last non fiction (besides the Bible or Cook Books) book I read...............I've been wracking my brain for 5 minutes and can not think of the last one- I'm gonna have to make a point to broaden my horizon and read more non fiction.  If you know of a good non fiction book send me a message so I can get 'up to date' on my non fiction reading!
OK back to the point of this post- I was making my way through the fiction section of our Library and grabbed several books- One of which I thought was a good read- Not one of my must owns but I'm glad I took the time to read (Mending Places by Denise Hunter).  The second book I read is not only a must own for me but also one I will read again and again- Something about it touched deep in my soul and I want to live my life more like Christopher did in the book (the last books I felt this way about was Safely Home by Randy Alcorn and Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers)- If you are a 'reader' and looking for something new to read check out The Debt by Angela Hunt.

I hope your Tues is going great,
Steph