Parenting....A Soft Answer

By 10:30 last night I could hear in my voice the 'tone'.....the tone that carries with it a lack of patience..........a lack of grace.....a hint of anger....that tone us mom's get when our children (or husband) have seemingly pushed us to our limit...
'GO TO BED....NOW!!!'
It wasn't wrong to tell Ryan to get to bed- It was past when he normally goes to bed and it was daylight savings time on Sat. night so technically all of our bodies were registering 11:30 p.m. while the clock was saying 10:30- but it was wrong that I told him to 'get to bed' while communicating it in anger.
Firm, direct, matter of fact, even adding consequences if the direction is not followed is great-
Raised voice, angry edge to that raised voice with glared eyes to boot is not how Christ is asking me to communicate (no matter how annoyed, tired, or 'all done' I am)....
Parenting can be so demanding.........so hard....yes it is a huge blessing- all of us parents feel so grateful for the job of raising our precious kiddo's the Lord has entrusted us with BUT it is still demanding and still very hard.
As I woke up this morning earlier than usual to my Ellie yelling into her monitor 'Mama! Mama! MMMMMOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!' I rolled over to Matt and said 'Oh My GOSH what time is it!!!'
My mood was no better when I woke up then when I went to bed...another demanding parenting day was what my internal thoughts immediately went to. 
After asking Matt what time it was I rolled back over before jumping out of bed- I knew what I needed to do otherwise this Monday was not going to be a good day- I would try to live it in my own strength (which would lead to angry responses and a great deal of frustration)- I needed God's wisdom to discern when my attitude was not what it should be, and His strength to choose a 'soft' answer as my responses...

I prayed a quick prayer before rolling out of bed...

'Heavenly Father Please let me have soft answers today- please let me not respond in anger but instead with calm.....' 

 

It's just a bit past noon and already the day has had many challenges- many reasons that I could justify huffing around responding angrily............
I have a choice with each challenge....how will I respond....
When Matt headed out the door just a bit ago he said 'Man, when you woke up this morning you were in a MOOD!'  He then gave me a quick hug and I hugged him back....That was his way of noticing that while he thought I had woken up in a mood I was no longer battling that mood but had gotten over it............
Yes, with God's help I did get over it today.  Today the conscience choice was made that I would not give into my 'mood' but instead give into God's calling to live beyond myself  and rest in the strength he would provide.

Heavenly Father please be with all of us mom's who are in the middle of child raising- Please give us all the wisdom to turn to you for the strength we need to raise our kids how you would have us.  Thank you for the incredible calling of being mom's...we love you Lord Jesus!!

'A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.' Proverbs 15:1

 





As soon as I hit 'publish' on this blog post I will head back into my dining room and mop up all that
                   cheese you see on the floor.........today's lunch time with my Ellie showed that she can get off her
 high chair tray and dump her lunch onto the ground :)

Instead of worrying, fretting, or freaking out!

Yesterday in Bible Study our teacher (we are going through Priscilla Shrier's 'Jonah') walked us through when God allows either a situation into our life or calls us to a situation that is overwhelming- impossible to accomplish in our own strength.....

Priscilla references 2 Chronicles 20- King Jehoshaphat was up against a situation that he could not manage in his own strength- From the outside looking in he was doomed for failure..

UNTIL...

'Jehoshaphat resolves to inquire of the Lord'

Priscilla went on to explain how we are 'set up to win' when we seek the Lord.....The Lord fights for us....We do not need to be afraid or discouraged......
Our Bible Study group went on to discuss how the people praised the Lord while they were in the midst of their situation- while they were waiting for the Lord to bring a conclusion to their overwhelming situation - they did this instead of worrying, fretting, or freaking out.....

Such a good reminder that when we face those difficult situations that seem impossible we need to:
Stop and Seek God
Obey what He is asking us to do
Worship instead of Worrying

So much easier said (or written) than done BUT with God's help, we are all set up to win!!

AMEN!!!!

______________________________________
2 Chronicles 20

New International Version (NIV)

Jehoshaphat Defeats Moab and Ammon

20 After this, the Moabites and Ammonites with some of the Meunites^[a] came to wage war against Jehoshaphat.

² Some people came and told Jehoshaphat, “A vast army is coming against you from Edom,^[b] from the other side of the Dead Sea. It is already in Hazezon Tamar” (that is, En Gedi). ³ Alarmed, Jehoshaphat resolved to inquire of the Lord, and he proclaimed a fast for all Judah. ⁴ The people of Judah came together to seek help from the Lord; indeed, they came from every town in Judah to seek him.
⁵ Then Jehoshaphat stood up in the assembly of Judah and Jerusalem at the temple of the Lord in the front of the new courtyard ⁶ and said:

“Lord, the God of our ancestors, are you not the God who is in heaven? You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations. Power and might are in your hand, and no one can withstand you. ⁷ Our God, did you not drive out the inhabitants of this land before your people Israel and give it forever to the descendants of Abraham your friend? ⁸ They have lived in it and have built in it a sanctuary for your Name, saying, ⁹ ‘If calamity comes upon us, whether the sword of judgment, or plague or famine, we will stand in your presence before this temple that bears your Name and will cry out to you in our distress, and you will hear us and save us.’
¹⁰ “But now here are men from Ammon, Moab and Mount Seir, whose territory you would not allow Israel to invade when they came from Egypt; so they turned away from them and did not destroy them. ¹¹ See how they are repaying us by coming to drive us out of the possession you gave us as an inheritance. ¹² Our God, will you not judge them? For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”

¹³ All the men of Judah, with their wives and children and little ones, stood there before the Lord.

¹⁴ Then the Spirit of the Lord came on Jahaziel son of Zechariah, the son of Benaiah, the son of Jeiel, the son of Mattaniah, a Levite and descendant of Asaph, as he stood in the assembly.
¹⁵ He said: “Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. ¹⁶ Tomorrow march down against them. They will be climbing up by the Pass of Ziz, and you will find them at the end of the gorge in the Desert of Jeruel. ¹⁷ You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.’”
¹⁸ Jehoshaphat bowed down with his face to the ground, and all the people of Judah and Jerusalem fell down in worship before the Lord. ¹⁹ Then some Levites from the Kohathites and Korahites stood up and praised the Lord, the God of Israel, with a very loud voice.
²⁰ Early in the morning they left for the Desert of Tekoa. As they set out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, “Listen to me, Judah and people of Jerusalem! Have faith in the Lord your God and you will be upheld; have faith in his prophets and you will be successful.” ²¹ After consulting the people, Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the Lord and to praise him for the splendor of his^[c] holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying:

“Give thanks to the Lord,
    for his love endures forever.”

²² As they began to sing and praise, the Lord set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated.

 

Dear October...

Dear October,

You are beautiful!  The fall colors you have brought with you boast of God's Glory.....Thank you for sharing your splendor with us.

Respectfully,
Stephanie



Here's to Victory!!! p.s. Stand Firm

Along with having cattle and horses on the ranch we live at, it also has it's own 70 acre private lake.  The lake was man made in the 50's by a creek that was flowing through the property and has been used over the years for recreation purposes by the owners- From the stories I've heard, lots and lots of water skiing and fishing has gone on over the past 60 years. 
This past Sunday afternoon found Matt, Eli, Ryan, Ellie, and I sitting around our dining room table eating lunch.  The dining room is close to solid windows that over look the lake (the lake is about 25 walking steps away from the house).  About half way through lunch Matt stopped eating and pointed to the air over the water.......
A Bald Eagle was circling the water and then diving towards the water trying to get something.  At first we all thought it was a fish because there was nothing visible.  As it circled and then swooped down time and time again over the spot we all stopped eating to watch.  It soon became clear that it was not a fish the bird was trying to get but instead a duck.  The duck would watch the bird's movements- just as it started descending on the water the duck would dive under the water, out of the Eagle's reach.  The Eagle was large and powerful- very intimidating..........the duck small- definitely appearing to be the weaker of the two.  As this went on, the eagle diving down and clawing at the water and the duck strategically doing everything it could to avoid those eagle's claws, I found myself getting up from the table and walking out onto our deck for a closer look.....It became clear right away that as the duck was diving and hiding from the eagle it was also making it's way quickly to the shore- In the water the duck had the tools of being able to dive deep, deeper than what the eagle could reach- it could also hold it's breath for a long enough period of time that the eagle had to make it's way back up into the sky.  On the land there is trees, leaves, logs, and other protection that would help this duck in it's endeavor to save it's life. 
The Eagle's attempted attack first appeared to be a hopeless situation for the duck, one that the duck would never be able to survive- Upon further inspection it became clear that the duck was more than equipped to handle this intimidating situation................

How often does life situations threaten to overwhelm us....How often do we feel like the small duck in the water being pursued by the intimidating eagle.........
If you are a breathing human being living with the realities of everyday life my guess is we have all to one extreme or another felt like that duck...........

Already feeling like we are drowning in our own circumstances...we're tired, wore out, done........then we get more devastating news.....the eagle sweeps down just as we pop our head up out of the water to take a big breath.........we're forced back under for another exhausting dive.....JESUS HELP ME!

'In this world you will have trouble' John 16:33 say's... 'BUT TAKE HEART!  I have over come the world.'

 

No matter how hard life seems right now God promises us that we have the tools to endure- The tools to press on- The tools to overcome- the tools to dive once again into the depths of that water and swim for shore..............

 

Satan wants us to believe that there is no hope- He's that eagle in our life that sweeps down with defeating thoughts.........'You'll never make it through this....'

God has equipped us for just this time- for just this hardship...He has over come the world so that it has no hold on us...the Lord has given us, as Christians, the divine power to demolish the strongholds that satan is trying to use to defeat us...........'daughter you will make it through this...I have given you strength (Phil 4:13) and provided a way for you to endure through this (1 Cor. 10:13)...stand firm daughter... STAND FIRM (Eph 6:13-18).

 

As the duck waddled up onto shore safe and sound and the eagle gave up it's pursuit I jumped up and down on the deck and gave out a victory cry- Arms raised and voice yelling 'WHOO HOO!!!'

 

Here's to Victory in Christ Ladies...

Stand Firm :)

 

May God Bless and Keep you,

Steph

my dining room

the view from our dining room

 

 

 

 



 



 

 

Facelifts and BMW X5's...mama likes!!

This post is not going to support natural aging...........sorry ladies-
Please remember that I rarely eat fruit or veggies because they give me the squirts, most of my food has been processed in pesticides, AND I can't eat things straight from the animal or out of the ground (eggs, milk, carrots, etc.)- 'Natural' and my body just have never seen eye to eye-
OK that being said, if you are aging naturally (w/o the help of creams and hair dye) then it is probably because you come from some amazing genes that do not gray in their 20's, have large pores that wrinkle pre-maturely, or puffy upper eye lids that threaten to cover your eye.........Don't judge those of us that were handed down bum aging genes (thank you to my ancestors before me, I was graced with the latter of the genes).

My heart is all for having a partial face-lift now (the eye and forehead area) and a full blown one when I am in my early 50's.................My heart is also all for driving a BMW X5....smile......my facelifted face driving around in a black X5........................a little piece of heaven right there- wait....my facelifted face driving around in an X5 on my way to a shopping mall in the big city ........that there is a little piece of heaven!!

My husband loves him some budget- He also loves my God given face (or he loves him his budget so much he would never admit that my God given face is anything other than perfect) and assures me that a partial facelift is completely out of the budget................'What about the X5?' I ask batting my eyelashes that are partially covered by my bloated upper eyelids?

DREAM ON is his reply :)

I googled (which is my answer to everything not spiritual- for spiritual one goes straight to the Bible of course..........unless you 'google' the verse you are looking for :) :) :) what the best anti aging and firming face cream was- If a partial facelift is not in the near future than something MUST be done.... Just placed my order for Estee Lauder's Resilience Lift EXTREME (promises a difference in 24 hours)- I'll let y'all know how it works- If next time you see me my wrinkles are pointed more toward heaven than earth than you know it worked..............hee hee hee hee!!!

Potty Training Cows and Horse Tooth Brushes :)

To celebrate 11 days since moving to a small town and living on a cattle/horse ranch I am gonna share 11 things I have learned since this new adventure started...ready, set, go!!

• Every skunk in the beautiful state of Oregon lives in the 15 mile stretch getting to my house...these country skunk are not that smart as they seem to get hit.  It's like, once they are hit they give off a never ending stink smell...............swerve people..........SWERVE!
• The town I go to each day has 450 people....The gentleman who works the register at the country store is named Gabe- There are 2 restaurants...one is open for breakfast and lunch and the other for dinner.  We've eaten breakfast at the breakfast/lunch café and it was really good- You serve your own coffee and they have free Wi-Fi.....The Library is open 2 days a week for 4 hours at a time (this baffles me about our library's- they had the funding to build these big beautiful libraries but not the funding to keep them open 5 days a week...I think the cart went before the horse on that decision)
• It's cost's $26. every 6 months for your P.O. Box- I forgot to ask the kind lady at the post office what our new zip code was- I had to come home and google it
• Ryan is one of 12 in his class- There are 6 boys 6 girls....His new school has a total of 72 students...He left a school of (I am taking a numbers guess) well over a thousand students- When I asked him how he likes the smaller school He say's he really likes it (Praise God)
• We are 1000 feet higher in elevation than where we moved from....I googled this too because it seems so much colder in the mornings and evenings
• The principle of Ryan's school told me that most all people who live up where we live drive a 4 wheel drive vehicle...........I have a Honda Accord...........I wonder if this will become a problem in the winter
• One of the 4 wheelers here at the ranch delays going into gear- you have to rev it just enough (but not too much) to get it to go once in gear.....I learned the 'too much' revving almost the hard way (thought it was going to throw me right off the back)
• Cows are curious animals...they watch what you do and pay attention.....they are also uncouth and will lift their tail and take splatty dumps any and everywhere..........Can a cow be potty trained :)
• Hay will give a good dose of the hives EVERYTIME............WHY OH WHY (I wonder if I ate a few pieces if that would make me immune to having the hive reaction...I'm glad we have an epi pen cause I just might need it if I deicide to eat it.....also, I have heard if you eat a piece of poison oak you will never get poison oak again....things that make you go hummmmm)
• There was a small garden here when we arrived- I noticed the carrots right away and thought I would pick a few to try.  It wasn't the best presentation as they were filled with dirt when I pulled them up out of the ground- As I looked at all that dirt hanging off of them I started getting the same grossed out feel as when milk is close to expiration.  I brought them inside and cleaned them up- they sat on my counter for a day and it was then that I realized I could never eat them....straight out of the ground and dirty...no bueno' I prefer straight from the store and grown with pesticides
• So I took the carrots out to the horses because I figured they would eat them.  As they opened their mouth's to eat  I was intrigued by their teeth- my cousin Luke would have given them an even harsher reprimand than he does me when I sit in his dentist chair (not a regular flosser and have a strong love of sugar)...........I wonder if there is such thing as a horse tooth brush..........I wonder if cows can be potty trained and horses can be taught to brush their teeth............

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!

Have a great Sat. night

Hee Haw!!!

Sometimes It's the Attitude that Follows...

Our ladies Bible Study at church is going through the book of Jonah- The teacher titled the Study 'Jonah...Navigating a life interrupted'.  For those that do not know much about the book of Jonah in the Bible it is about a Prophet (a person regarded as an inspired teacher or proclaimer of the will of
God) who ran from what God asked him to do- Jonah is the only prophet that God spoke to directly and he is the only prophet (in the Bible) that ran from what God asked him to do.  God wanted Jonah to go to a certain city and preach against it- He wanted Jonah to tell the people that if they did not turn from their wicked ways than His (God's) judgment was going to come against them (to read the whole story click HERE).  Jonah had no desire to do what God was asking because he despised the city God wanted him to go to- He did not want to see God's forgiveness come to the people.........To make a long story short, after running and then repenting from running from God 'the Word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time: “Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.”
Jonah obeyed the word of the Lord and went to Nineveh.' (Jonah 3:1-2)
 The results of Jonah's obedience was one of the biggest revivals in recorded Biblical History.  The people of Nineveh repented and trusted God..............Upon seeing the people's reaction, Jonah was mad...
'But to Jonah this seemed very wrong, and he became angry. He prayed to the Lord, “Isn’t this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing... I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.' (Jonah 4:1-2)

Jonah was given a second chance to do what God had asked of him...........after getting the second chance he then had a choice to obey or not

He choose obedience.......

While obedience is a choice that most often requires physical actions, sometimes a true test of the heart comes not in the act of obedience but with the attitude that follows the obedience...........

Jonah choose anger as his attitude..........

'For out of the overflow of the heart his mouth speaks' (Matt 6:45)

On May 17, 2009 Our family moved to the Island of Kauai because we knew God had called our family to live there...
We obeyed...
My precious boys choose a great attitude about the move and embraced living on the islands
My precious husband choose a great attitude about the move and embraced everything about island life
Soon after moving, I realized just how out of comfort zone it was (and was going to be for me) and choose an attitude of anger and emotional fit throwing....

About a year after we moved God laid another life change on my Matt's heart (a life change that God had laid on my heart almost 11 years prior).........Adoption
We obeyed....
My precious boys choose a great attitude about the possibility of having a baby sister
I choose a great attitude 
My Matt choose fear.............the fear of spending our savings account to pursue adoption
Soon after our adoption process started Matt realized just how out of comfort zone our adoption was going to take us financially and tried to run as fast as he could in the other direction.......

My life interrupted by the calling to live on the Island of Kauai
Matt's life interrupted by the calling to use all of our savings for our adoption
 
I defiantly boarded an airplane departing Kauai and arriving in Oregon on June 10, 2011 with the intention of never returning.........
Matt defiantly said 'no' to our adoption............

Every last dime of our savings account was used for our precious Ellie's adoption- An adoption that God called our family too- None of us could imagine not having Ellie in our family..........For Matt it was a HUGE learning lesson about submitting our finances to God- He is the owner....we the stewards.
As the plane left the Hawaiian Islands that June day I didn't even look back- It grieves my heart to tell you that, at the time, I was so angry at Matt I (thought) I couldn't have cared less whether he ever returned to Oregon (where I would be).

That was 2 years ago.....

For the past 2 years the Lord has allowed our finances to be tight.....He has taught us (especially Matt) that our finances are not our own but  are God's- part of submission is that we give where God asks us to give....

For the past 2 years the Lord has allowed my Matt to be gone 80 hours a week....He has also allowed us to move 3 times in the past 2 years.  I have gotten a good ol' fashioned dose of what life is like emotionally on my own....what raising 3 kids is like, pretty much on my own....what, when you choose to make a decision on your own (my choice to leave Hawaii) life looks like....

Earlier this year, Matt and I started forging our way back.
Forgiveness was sought along with a deeper understanding of what God was asking of Matt and I-
Matt to focus more on his family by working less and to trust God with our finances-
Me to not just follow where God leads but to have a happy heart in doing so- Choose Joy instead of anger.........

Once this was settled between God, Matt, and I my automatic assumption was that the Lord would call us right back to Kauai- to the very place where my husband longs to go back too and where I had failed in my attitude so miserably. We pursued and the right door never opened.

For now, God has other plans.........

I mentioned in a blog post back in August that our house went up for sale....It went sale pending 3 or so weeks later and closed yesterday.  In the meantime that all of this was going on, Matt got a call from a cattle ranch about 45 minutes outside of our hometown- They were looking for a ranch manager- The job was ideal in the aspect that it would give Matt more time with our family and that he was very qualified for the position- It was not ideal in the fact that Ryan would have to switch high schools, our family would have to make yet another move (3 in 2 years), and the ranch is rural...I knew the rural part could become an attitude barrier for this city loving mama...........

Heavenly Father thank you for your life's interruptions and for the second chance you are giving Matt and I to glorify you- Matt to glorify you with our finances and spending time with our family....me to glorify you with my attitude in living on a ranch....far out in the country........far away from the city...........I love you dear Lord Jesus :)