Opening up about Open Adoption

This afternoon as I was sitting in my living room, letting Ellie roll around on the ground while I did some paper work, I noticed that she was getting pretty fussy- She has not been big on afternoon naps the past couple of weeks but has instead gone to bed around 6 p.m. sleeping until around 7:30 a.m. (she still wakes up to eat at least once if not twice during that time- I am usually sitting on my couch at 2 and 6 a.m. waiting for my precious girl to finish her bottle).......I picked her up and started to feed her the last of her bottle thinking that she may be hungry- As she ate, we sat and started at each other......my eyes are filled with tears as I type out this part of the blog post- We were staring at each other with adoring looks in both of our eyes- she would stop drinking every once in awhile to give me a big smile and then would go immediately back to eating and staring- She fell asleep doing this (the fussing was because she was tired)-  I used to stare at my boys the same way, usually when they were sleeping...I would try to memorize everything on their little faces.....I would see features of both Matt and I and be in amazement that part of Matt and part of me was shown for the world to see on our beautiful boys-
One of the many things I love about having an open adoption is that I get to know about Ellie's biological History- I have spent time with Elle's birth mom Heather, asking her questions, getting to know her- I get to look into my adoring daughters eyes and stare in amazement at how similar she and Heather's eye's are- I get to study Ellie's features and place them with physical features that I have seen in Ellie's own biological family- If someone would have told me that I would be staring at my daughter placing her features with anyone's other than mine or Matt's before we went through our adoption process, I would have been intimidated- thoughts like 'if she does not biologically resemble Matt or I, how will Matt and I explain it to her?' 'What will love feel like when you are not biologically connected?' etc.. would have been  reeling through my brain-
When I look into my daughter's eyes, when I trace the tip of her nose, when I hold her fingers in mine, when I see her short little pudgy legs I don't see one single thing that resembles me BUT my heart beats out of my chest with a love that is indescribable- When Ellie and my eyes meet it is that of a bonded biological mommy and daughter the only difference is that both of our hearts are bigger because God has allowed a space for her biological family without taking any of the room that was meant for the bonding and/or love of Ellie to our family-
We are blessed
Open Adoption is a beautiful thing!