practice does not make perfect
just because Matt and I had over 15 years of parenting under our belt when our Elle's joined the fam it did not make us 'experts' or 'perfected'
it was my mistaken belief that it did
practicing parenting is not perfected.
it doesn't end with a verb and then a period and blanket the future of our parenting endeavors
that's not how God made it
just when we think we've perfected, the season changes
just when we think we've got it all figured out, we realize that what worked with the last 2 doesn't work on this one
we're all unique, needing to be seen for who we actually are- who God made us
Ellie is teaching me so much about not sweating the small stuff
about choosing to hold her heart instead of my discipline standard (yes, she is still disciplined but with her it always pays to try to understand why she is doing what she is doing. An example of this would be me asking her to not get out of her bed- I check on her and see that she is sitting on the floor on the side of her bed covering up the stuffed hamster her biological brother Joshua gave her for Christmas- Instead of getting her in trouble for disobeying I calmly ask 'whatcha doing Elle's?' to which she explains that she was worried that her hamster was cold and needed to be covered up. I helped her cover her hamster and then tucked her back in bed without any sort of reprimand.....now when I put her in bed we make sure that her animals are 'covered' or tucked in by her. Her disobedience in this situation was not from a defiant or disobedient heart- it was her tender heart wanting the best for her stuffed animals- with my boys, I would have skipped the understanding and gone straight for the reprimand- the motto was obey first and then explain later. In certain situations we hold to this with Ellie but there are lots of times we are understanding first and then disciplining if needed)
I could have won the battle in the instance above with keeping her disobedience as the focus- I could win the battle on a daily basis of the same type of similar circumstances faced with her...
but in winning these discipline battles I would loose the war
the war for my little girls heart that will grow up to be a big girl heart that will make decisions on her own someday.
the heart that Satan would like nothing more than to fill with the mistaken belief that mommy's aren't worth listening to
the heart that I still want to be able to encourage and reach no matter how old
the heart that I still want to find me a safe place to seek advise
the heart that I want her to know Jesus in
the same heart that will look for Jesus in me
maybe none of the above is what parenting books would recommend
maybe it's not even what the 'expert' parents would recommend
but God didn't give them our precious Ellie
He gave her to Matt and I to raise and promised us the wisdom to do it
and we are so so so SO thankful He did...
Thank you Lord Jesus for the precious gift of our Ellie Marie- She is an amazing blessing with a passion for life. Thank you for her strong will and determined personality- please let her grow up to serve you in a mighty way. Please also surround her little life with people who seek to reach her heart- who encourage her to be the person you created her to be....I love you Dear Lord.
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