letters

In 2006 I went to a party at my friend Becky's house- She was hosting a 'Once Upon a Family' party.  I had never heard of the company before (the staple home parties back in the day were Tupperware, Pampered Chef, and Mary Kay) but thought it would be fun to go hang out at Becky's for an evening.
I'm so glad I went...
As the consultant started explaining about the product being sold, a box immediately caught my eye.  It was a hard cardboard box probably a foot long and six inches wide...inside was 18 envelopes and 18 stationary cards- One for each year of your child's life...the goal was that one would write their child a letter each year on their birthday- You would store them in the box until it was time to give them to your child.
In 2006 Eli was turning 10 and Ry was turning 7-
Over the course of 8 years I have written to my boys 9 letters (Ellie has 3)....
For all of my mommy friends out there- This is one of the 'I would recommend' doing for your kids... :)

Matt asked me when I was going to give Eli his- technically Eli's letters are complete
'When he's ready' was my answer.....
'How will you know when he's ready?'

I'll just know

UPDATE- June 23, 2017...Ellie has 6 letters, Ryan's last letter (he has 11 letters) was written earlier this month (his 18th birthday), and Eli has 8 letters.  For my mom friends out there- I'm still SO GLAD I did this.

for i know.

'For I know the One in whom I trust...'
It's been a heavy month.  Emotionally, Spiritually and Physically...
There are times when one or two of the above will combine and create a difficulty but it's not too often that all three mingle in the same breath...
For me, it's the inhale of an emotionally difficult situation that will determine the exhale.  How to process the knowledge of the scary and sad- things that you can not tuck away in the clean compartment of 'we will deal with this later' or 'it's not as bad as what it looks like'.
It was just past midnight last Tues. night that I woke up panicked.  Panic, Anxiety, and Fear are a natural default if I am not careful....careful to remember the One in whom I trust- careful to remember His promises- careful to remember that it is He who is in control...He who is guarding and guiding.
As I lay in the dark, staring at the reflection of the clock on the ceiling above the bed, my heart started pounding- racing really...
'What's wrong with Ryan....He's been sick for 24 days and keeps getting sicker'
'What is the reading of the MRI going to say- The picture of Ryan's feet sticking out of the machine earlier that morning was blaring in my mind- the blood draws and the 'we are not quite sure what this is' from the doctors'- I had googled enough about what was going on with Ryan to know that it was more than likely Lyme's disease.  I didn't know how far it had progressed but had read horror story after horror story to know it was serious and needed to be treated quickly..
'They just gave Malina 72 hours to live- The Leukemia had come back only this time there was no treatment left.....Jesus WHY....she's so young- she's the mommy to a daughter just 9 months older then Ellie- she needs to raise her daughter- Her husband and family have already seen her suffer so much- they need her too... please Jesus give them strength and give Malina strength....JESUS!!!'
The panic spiraled down from there.......
heart pounding, shaking, the overwhelming thoughts one after another until they seemed to create a pile up crash- the scene of what you would see on the freeway when that first car spirals out of control and there are 20 more behind that can not stop in time....

My Bible was on my nightstand- I grabbed it and put it under my pillow....
With all the panic thoughts, the consistent quiet of 2 Timothy 1:12 was being nudged on my heart...

'For I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day.'

The choice was mine- was I going to focus on the very real and very loud crash and burn thoughts or was I going to trust the One in whom I believe- The One who promises that He is able to handle and has under control all that is going on in our lives.  The One who promises a peace that passes all understanding during hard times...The One who promises that our home is Heaven and it is literally just a breath away...The One that promises strength to the weary and comfort to the broken hearted....the one that promises He will allow nothing into our lives that He will not use for our good and His Glory.... the I AM....

As the news that our Ryan does indeed have Lyme's Disease came in- to the degree he will have to battle it we do not know.  We do know that the Specialist is hopeful that 3 months of antibiotics will be the answer...
As the news that Malina was ushered into Heaven- That the much prayed for earthly healing had not taken place but instead her healing had come seeing her Lord and Savior face to face- Heaven, a place where there are no more tears- no more suffering-

As all of this (and more) was confirmed, there was a choice to be made- was I going to panic or commit it all to the Lord with the promise of peace....

I don't know what Ryan's Lyme's will end up looking like-
I can not even imagine the grief Malina's family is experiencing- There are no earthly words that can touch the depth of their sorrow
But what I do know is that we have the promise of a Keeper- a keeper who is able- A Keeper who gives peace to that which we commit to Him until the day He brings us to our Heavenly home.

Jesus I commit all that is going on with Ryan's health and Malina's family to you.......

'For I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day.' (2 Tim 1:12)

 

'

'i'm tree' (three)

Our girl is three (she say's 'I'm tree')
11:46 a.m.
Saturday June 18
5 lbs. 3 oz.
17 3/4 inches long
Three Years ago today...
Thank you Lord Jesus for the incredible blessing of Heather and Arthur's plus Matt and My Ellie Marie.
Elle's you are a treasured gift and we love you so so much.

Happy 3rd Birthday Baby Girl!

 

 

dry socket, dirty wind, and wounded brief :) :)

When the boys were little we would give each other 'Indian' names (Eli was all about watching Indian themed movies).  An Indian name in our family meant that you would receive a 'nick name' that in some way described you- It needed to have a bit of a funny edge to it because that's just how we are....
About the time we were giving each other Indian names Matt was told by the dentist that he needed to have his wisdom teeth taken out.  This is not fun when you are a teenager- this is really not fun when you are in your early 30's.  The wisdom teeth coming out was at the end of a decade long 'removal' for Matt.....Tonsils in his early twenties, Cyst at the top of his tail bone mid twenty's, now his wisdom teeth- The first 2 had produced infection afterwards so we were banking on whatever the worst case scenario short of death was, this would happen when his wisdom teeth came out......
It took a hospital visit and a very strong dose of antibiotics to get the dry socket infection under control over the course of a month after the surgery...
Matt's Indian name was: 'Dry Socket'

I think the first breath Eli took after gracing us with his presence went right through his body and settled into his intestines, only to be let out slowly in air pockets called gas............
The child was the gassiest and most colic infant on the face of this earth. this did not stop as he grew up.......
Eli's Indian name was: 'Dirty Wind'

Ryan was pretty much battling some sort of ailment throughout most of his childhood- Once he was potty trained and started wearing big boy underwear you could always count on his underwear hanging out the top of his pants- I would shove it down and somehow it would make it's way back up- resting comfortably in the middle of his back....looking back, I wonder if his underwear was too big- the fact that it could make it all the way up to the middle of his back leads me to believe this is such.......All that being said,
Ryan's Indian name was: 'Wounded Brief'

We never did get around to giving me an Indian name- by the time we would rehash the stories to Matt and the boy's Indian names we had usually lost interest and had moved on...

A couple of days ago Ellie asked if I wanted to have tea with her (we went with Cherry 7-Up in our tea cups instead of actual tea)
When I saw the 'selfie' pic I tried to take of us having tea I instantly thought of how we used to give each other Indian names......

I give myself the Indian name:
'Tea Cup Nose'......................................hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!!

p.s.  Ellie's Indian name would be 'Wild Hair'- not because of anything in this picture but because she truly does have 'WILD HAIR'- It is amazingly curly (like her birth mom Heather) and will not be tamed by even the most expensive product.

Dry Socket married Tea Cup nose.....They went on to have Dirty Wind and Wounded Brief....By the amazing gift of adoption they were able to have Wild Hair............

Throwing my head back and laughing!!

ticks and testing

Would you believe that after 16 days my Ryan is still battling (welt looking) hives- he's working his way through his second dose of prednisone and his first round of 21 days of antibiotics.......
BUMMER.
BUMMER BUMMER..
BUMMER BUMMER BUMMER...
We have several things in the works at this point-  Due to an onset of migraine headaches (w/aura's) that seemed to ramp up about 6 weeks before all of this hive stuff, Ry will be having an MRI early next week- The Doctor said that they will be looking for blood vessels that are unusually small on the left side of Ryan's head (the migraines localize on the left side of his head once the Aura is gone).  There is a HUGE chance that the migraines are simply genetic (my side).  Once this MRI is done we will have the option to see an allergist (for the hives- they want to send Ry to an allergist with a clean bill of health).

Because (I think it's bad grammar to start out a sentence w/because) we learned that Ryan had a tick on him about a month ago,  he will go through extensive testing for Lyme's Disease with a Specialist in a town about 3 hours North of us mid next week......(thank you for the recommendation Darlene J.)
When Ryan's doctor learned about the tick he said that Lyme's disease in Oregon is VERY rare and he did not believe he had it- that being said, Dr. C wanted to be on the safe side and start him on the antibiotic regimen that one gets if they do have the beginning of Lyme's. If the Lyme's Test comes back negative we will go directly to our local Allergist to get this situation resolved.

Ryan missed close to 2 weeks of school due to being very achy w/a low grade fever along with the hives- The Antibiotics have really seemed to help those 2 symptoms and he was able to return back for this last week of school....

In other news.....
Eli's graduation ceremony was beautiful- Just before the sun set last Wed. night our first born was handed his diploma- We celebrated with lots of friends/family/ and food :)
Ryan has the privilege of participating at the 4-H Shotgun State Tournament next week- GOOD JOB RY!
Next week will also have us celebrating Ellie's 3rd Birthday (whoop whoop!!)- I think she is the smartest 3 year old in the Northern Hemisphere....maybe her superior smartness even reaches a world wide status....... (mommy loves you Elle's Marie)

Happy Tuesday Everyone!!

P.S. Malina we believe in Miracles and are praying for you!
P.S. Julie K. we are praying for your Kidney Transplant you are having today-

15 'I'm so thankful's' for you Ryan Chase- Happy Birthday

Dear Ryan Chase,

In honor of celebrating the day you were born, 15 years ago today, I'm gonna do 15 of the 'I'm so thankful for you because...' 

1. I'm so thankful for the tender heart and bond you have towards/with Ellie....your little sister does not know how awesome this is yet BUT as she gets a little older and understands all the time and attention you give her she will forever be thankful for it....I would be willing to bet you and Ellie will have a close bond your whole lives because of the time you spend with her now.
2. I'm so thankful for the respect you have towards others....you didn't know I was listening to a phone conversation you were having with a gentleman who was selling his pick up- it caught my attention when you ended the conversation with 'thank you very much sir...'- You've already learned a valuable lesson early in life....respect
3. I'm so thankful that you are a fast learner- you watch someone do something once or listen to them explain it and you pick it up fast...This might explain why you are the only person in our family to pull down a 4.0..........
4. I'm so thankful for your willingness to help out- If you see someone in need you don't shy away from lending a hand
5. Really thankful for your integrity....you don't sway- you stand......this is Jesus in you
6. Your confident in your beliefs and do not mind telling others where you stand....I'm so thankful for this in you- Even if I don't always understand or agree I admire it none the less
7. You have a quiet strength that shines.....I am not only thankful for this but I LOVE THIS about you....The Lord has already and will continue to use that strength for His Glory
8. I am so thankful that you are dependable....if you say your are going to do something you do- If you say your not going to do something, you don't
9. I am thankful that you really like spending time with older people- you will not only notice the elderly gentleman in a crowd but you will go over and talk with him....listening to his stories and telling him your stories....
10. I am thankful that you inherited mommy's coordination....this was passed down from papa Rick's side...........I hope it works out that you get to play baseball at some point in your high school years- if it does your going to do great
11. I am thankful that you inherited daddy's practical side....you also think things through like your daddy
12. I'm thankful that you have weathered some difficult times and come through the other side stronger....a bit more sarcastic.....maybe even a bit mouthier......but with a deep down grit that gives you a solid confidence.
13. I'm thankful that you have a hilarious sense of humor (and a bit annoying sometimes)- Thank you for flexing on a daily basis- smile :)
14. I'm thankful that you love Jesus.......that even without me reminding you, you do your devotions and care about what the Bible Says....
15. It's 5:37 p.m. sweetie- you were born 12 minutes ago 15 years today- I'm so thankful for your birth....that the Lord has allowed daddy and I to be your parents. 

Daddy and I love you so much Ryno-
Happy 15th Birthday,
Mommy

Ryan with his uncle Mark, Aunt Judie, Josh, and Ash

chocolate, hives, and graduation

Today started with this for breakfast:

Followed by scheduling yet another Doctors Appt. for Ryan to figure out what this hive looking rash is (that has kept him really achy with a low grade fever) for the past 10 days

Will come home from the Dr. in time to give Ellie a nap:

After Ellie wakes up from her nap we will head to Eli's High School to watch him graduate :)

Happy Chocolate, Hives, and Graduation Wednesday!!