Thursday, March 7, 2019

sometimes over and over

I had about a half hour drive this morning to get where I was going.  It was somewhat early so not many people were on the freeway- It gave me time to pray and think.  It also gave me a chance to drop a piece of avocado off of my toast (eating breakfast as I drove) onto my pants.  As I glanced down to try and get it off before it smeared, I caught sight of the bright purple pant bottoms I was wearing- as my eye's rested on those grape colored scrubs, the praying and questions began...
'Why nursing, Lord?' There are so many other things I am more qualified and better at so why this. why now. why me and not someone else who's whole life dream has been to do what I am getting ready to do.  And as usual, I felt a deep and persistent peace that I am right where I need to be, doing exactly what I need to be doing, at the perfect time I need to be there.  I don't need to understand the in's and out's but I do need to trust completely.

In the year and a half I have been on this journey, striving towards becoming a nurse, the Lord has proven Himself faithful time and time again.  He has taught me about persevering, being steadfast and self disciplined, to keep going even when every natural emotion is telling me to stop.  He has taught me to trust in His strength and to depend on Him- that His strength will always be enough and that He is reliable always.
I continue to learn that I may fail over and over at a task but that does not mean I can stop trying.  Failure in our eyes does not mean quitting or giving up in God's eyes- it means being humble, acknowledging that you need help, and then relying on Him for the self esteem to try again (sometimes over and over).
The Lord has used others to inspire me along the way- to marvel at how He made some people with an incredible academic mind to retain all things medical.  How He made others with a strong determination, using that determination to triumph over great obstacles (sickness, death, divorce, tragedy), not letting what they have endured stop them.  They are over-comers.
I've also learned about how defeating perfectionism can be.  How it can suck the life and joy out of your heart if it is your goal.  How it will take you on a detour, bypassing what God has called you to be, all because you felt like you couldn't do it good enough.  You may be afraid that you would fail or not measure up to your self imposed standard,  so why start anyway.

My drive and prayer time was coming to an end.  It was just before 6:00 a.m. and I was pulling into the skilled nursing facility where I would be spending the day doing a clinical rotation.  A place where I would face so many of my own insecurities and fears- sickness, bad smells, giving shots, the possibility of failing at one of the skills I was learning, etc.   As all these thoughts were bouncing around in my head, I did what I have done some many times over the last 18 months. I asked the Lord to give me wisdom, strength, and help as I navigated thorough my day.  I asked for His help in accepting any failure that I may encounter and prayed for the humility to accept the failure, not as a defeat but as something to learn from.  I also prayed for the resilience to try again and again, as many times as needed to get it right.  I prayed for those I would come into contact with, that they would find His comfort and strength in their day also. Then I laid it down- every worry and fear I had, refusing to carry it with me during the day.

As I walked to my car this afternoon, after completing the clinical day, and started the drive home, it struck me- something that I have experienced so many times but seem to always be amazed by- God had today covered. No it didn't go perfectly, there were many imperfections, but He didn't need me to be perfect.  He just needed me to follow His leading, trusting Him the entire time and rely on His guidance to get me through.

What a relief, how refreshing, and thank you Jesus!


Almost...Just a couple more weeks until the 1st semester is done!!

Monday, February 18, 2019

discounts and timeshare presentations

I think of sitting down and posting a new blog post somewhat often.  Just after the thought pops into my mind, it is followed by the reality that I truly don't have time.  These day's, every hour seems to count and I can't seem to find an extra hour to sit down and write.  There was no school for Ellie and I today and I told myself I would give myself 30 minutes to blog.  
Here it is, nothing amazing or life changing to read- Just random thoughts that came to my mind, in no particular order

  • I tried going Keto for a week.  I started on a Friday full gusto.  By the following Friday, I found myself walking in my front door (after taking an exam) and heading to where we keep our chips (which are a big no-no when one is on Keto).  I was going to treat myself to just a couple of 'Hint-of-Lime' tortilla chips.  I grabbed the bag and headed to the living room where I sat down on the recliner.  Telling myself I should stop with every chip after two, I ate the entire 1/2 bag.  The worst part is, I didn't even feel bad (physically) after I did it- I actually felt great!  I waited for some sort of carb overload or fat pouch (all those calories!!) to suddenly take over my body but it didn't.  I felt emotionally happy and physically wonderful....I've been Keto free since :)
  • I love Melaleuca's laundry soap.  I used Tide Pod's prior to switching over to Melaleuca and was really happy with Tide.  I'm picky about my laundry soap- I want our clothes to smell good after they've been washed- fresh good not overly perfumed good (overly perfume smell would give me a headache).  Tide accomplishes this in my opinion but the fresh smell seems to fade faster than what the Melaleuca does.  I consider the good smell a reward for the effort of washing, folding, and putting away clothes.  I also notice that you can smell the 'fresh' smell of the Melaleuca's laundry soap in my house even when I am not doing wash.  I'm sure it's because I've washed the throw blankets on the back of our chair's with it- which goes back to my point about the smell lasting for awhile after you have washed an item in it.
  • I've been on a Groupon kick for the past several months.  Pretty much before I do anything, I'm checking for discounts on Groupon.  Since I'm on a 'how much can I save doing fun things' whim, I had heard about a travel site called Bookvip- they were offering 3 nights stay at a hotel in Las Vegas called Tahiti Village Resort for $125. total (not including flights) plus a $100. food voucher to eat at the resort.  The fine print was you have to travel with your spouse to the hotel, make over $50,000 per year, be a US citizen, and sit in on a 90 minute presentation about timeshares.  Matt and I will see Vegas for the first time next month during spring break (Vegas Baby!!).  We will arrive late on a Wednesday night, wake up bright and early the next morning to go to the 90 minute pushy time share presentation, and then have the next 2 days to check out the sites.  Matt's not super thrilled about sitting in on the presentation...I'll keep you posted how it goes.  If the trip turns out to be legit, I'll definitely book through them again.  If not, well....I'll join the ranks of many others who have allowed themselves to be 'suckered in' with the promise of a good deal!! 
Alright, I've got to go make dinner and study
Here's to my first post of 2019!
I chose this picture to post because it will make my sister in law smile- and for that reason, it warms my heart and makes me smile too


Wednesday, April 18, 2018

formaldehyde, taco trucks, and liz's 'spray'

We were staring at a sheep brain cut in half.  Class was almost done but we had a few minutes to look back over our dissection and really evaluate what we were looking at.  It's a late afternoon/evening class which meant we were close to dinner.  My mind was vacillating between compartmentalizing the smell of formaldehyde, retaining the different parts of the brain that we were able to visually see, and trying to decide if I was going to walk across the street from the school and get a burrito from the taco truck before the lecture part of the class started (the lab portion is where you do dissection).

I picked up the half of brain I was looking at and started sorting through the parts.  It has the look of  white meat (almost like a chicken thigh that has been pounded out and marinated- if you live in my area, imagine No-Ho's chicken) that is very tender and maybe a bit over marinated (this could be the formaldehyde).  I then started thinking about whether people eat animal brains (I know they eat intestines and tongue).  Then, true to my personality, I personalized my thoughts....

'Liz, if you were stranded on an island and had to choose between eating this sheep brain (minus the formaldehyde) or bugs, what would you choose?'
She didn't even hesitate.....'THE BUGS! I couldn't eat brain'
'I would choose the brain' is what I told her.  The bugs seem like way less protein and a whole lot more work to consume....I would have to remove the Dura Mater on the outside though and peel off the blood vessels surrounding the outside portion of the brain.  I also think I would have to take small enough bites that I could swallow them whole, without chewing or tasting.  But other than that, I would be good to go :)

We finished up the dissection and headed across the street to the taco truck where we both got burritos.  The whole time I was eating dinner I kept smelling formaldehyde.  During lecture, I kept smelling whiffs of what I thought was formaldehyde.  I finally smelled my hands to see if I had remnants that had not washed off my hands from the dissection.  It was then I realized I was not smelling formaldehyde but 'taco' smell from my burrito (salsa, onion, garlic, etc.)....I got up and went to the bathroom where I washed my hands really good with lots of soap and then went back to class, telling Liz about my whiffs of pseudo formaldehyde.  True to her personality, which is all about cleanliness, cozy comfort, and organization, She reached into her bag and pulled out her 'spray' (I don't know exactly what her spray is except that it smells so good- like a mixture of fall and Christmas and I guarantee, even without asking her, that it has some sort of potent anti-bacterial added in too).  We proceeded to spray our hands (and my shirt) with Christmas in a bottle and finished listening to lecture....She filling in her notes with color coded pens so she could distinguish between important info while I was just trying to find where on our notes our professor was talking from and then chicken scratching in my important notes.

The sheep brain

It's so intricate....Isn't God amazing :)

You are required to wear goggles and gloves while dissecting.



Saturday, February 24, 2018

oh, those moral dilemma's

It's always a challenge, at least for me, to stay off of the self-imposed 'idealistic' moral train. Meaning that what I would 'idealistically' do vs. what I would 'actually' do may be two different things.  As a Christian, my 'idealistic' side often tell myself that passive action is always right.  It's not a side of myself I readily admit, or show, that when my actions are not passive, I'm fighting off the guilt of whether or not I acted in the right way.  Often times, I will agonize in my prayers, wishing the Lord would take out my naturally assertive (and when prompted right, I'm flat out aggressive) side and instead replace it with a passive softness that others would admire.  The Lord has not granted my request, at least to date, so on I go, as the naturally assertive lady who's passivity and admired softness has escaped her (the humility of it all).

I say all of this, mostly to justify my response to a moral dilemma question we were given in Psychology class.  The class is online so our responses go onto a discussion board for the instructor and all the participating students to see (you do not get to see your fellow students responses until you have posted your own response).  When I first read the moral dilemma, I thought it through three ways.  First, what would be the idealistic 'Christian' response (in my idealistic mind, this would mean obedience and passivity).  Second, what would be my response (my real response with no idealism).  Thirdly, was my real response a Godly one.  If not, why wasn't my 'real' response Godly.  I settled fairly quickly on the fact that while my response is neither obedient or passive (and even includes breaking the law), it was one that I believe the Lord would be proud of me for making-    

Here's the scenario we were given:


'In Europe, a woman was near death from a special kind of cancer.  There was one drug that the doctors thought might save her.  It was a form of radium that a druggist in the same town had recently discovered.  The drug was expensive to make, but the druggist was charging ten times what the drug cost him to make.  He paid $400. for the radium and charged $4000. for a small dose of the drug.  The sick woman's husband, Heinz, went to everyone he knew to borrow the money and tried every legal means, but he could only get together about $2000, which is half of what it cost.  He told the druggist that his wife was dying, and asked him to sell it cheaper or let him pay later.  But the druggist said, 'No, I discovered the drug and I'm going to make money from it.' (jerk! this is my insertion :).  So, having tried every legal means, Heinz gets desperate and considers breaking into the man's store to steal the drug for his wife.'
______________________________

Here are the two questions we were asked to respond to (along with my responses).


1. Was the husband's behavior excusable under the circumstances? Why or why not?
Regardless of how much we might want to have the 'right' response and correct answer to questions like these, I don't think we ever truly know what we will do until we are faced with the situation.  When someone close to you is incredibly sick and suffering, you feel emotions of desperation and become willing to make sacrifices (both good and bad) that you did not know you were capable of. 
Instead of questioning the husband's behavior, I would challenge the moral and ethical behavior of the druggist.  I would call to light the oath he took as he became a druggist and the specific statement in that oath that says this:
"I promise to devote myself to a lifetime of service to others through the profession of pharmacy. In fulfilling this vow:
  • I will consider the welfare of humanity and relief of suffering my primary concerns. 
  • I will apply my knowledge, experience, and skills to the best of my ability to assure optimal outcomes for my patients.
  • I will respect and protect all personal and health information entrusted to me.
  • I will accept the lifelong obligation to improve my professional knowledge and competence.
  • I will hold myself and my colleagues to the highest principles of our profession’s moral, ethical and legal conduct.
  • I will embrace and advocate changes that improve patient care.
  • I will utilize my knowledge, skills, experiences, and values to prepare the next generation of pharmacists.
I take these vows voluntarily with the full realization of the responsibility with which I am entrusted by the public.”
Is it adequate care that the druggist would not budge on the price of medicine that could save somebody's life?  Considering the amount that he himself marked the medicine up?  Is he taking his position of authority and abusing it to the point of causing an individual (the husband) intolerable stress.  Is this really a case of a druggist who baits a patients family, forcing them into either crime or death?  Yes, it is.  
In this case, the druggist needs to be disbarred and fined and possibly serve prison time for his actions.
The husband, bless his heart, needs to be reassured that he was forced into a decision that was never his burden to carry.  If the law did choose to punish him, he can hold his head high and know that what he did was, at it's core, heroic.  
I would have made the same decision as the husband.  There's a part of me that wants to act like I would come up with something legal and more rational but the reality is, forced to make a choice between my husband dying or stealing the medicine he needed to live, I would steal the medicine and not have one regret that I did.
(In this situation, I choose human rights and universal human ethics over law and order and obedience)
2. If you were the husband, what could you have done instead of stealing the drug?
Time was of the essence for this gentleman's wife so saving for the treatment does not sound like an option.  He pursued borrowing money from those he knew.  I'm sure he begged the doctor to lower the cost of the treatment.  If he owned property or livestock, he could have possibly sold those things.  If there was another doctor around, he could ask him to sell it to him for cheaper.  
This is random....I keep seeing an ad for an online site that sells prescription glasses.  Out of curiosity (and because I desperately need reading glasses), I went to their sight and was intrigued that you could upload a picture of yourself and 'try' on glasses.  I spent an hour 'trying' on glasses and bouncing back and forth between cringing and laughing. (glassesusa was the site)

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

the date they will never forget

A little over a year and a half ago, as Ryan was walking out the door, he casually mentioned that he was taking a girl on a date.
'Do I know her?' was my reply
'No'
'Where did you meet her?'
'At the Rodeo'
I was really hoping for at least a name I knew (who I could stalk on Facebook or Instagram) and a little unenthusiastic that he had met a girl at the rodeo.
'What's her name?'
'Danika'
'Is she a Christian?'
'Yes, mom' was his annoyed response.
I explained to Ry that it was fine for him to take her out once, but, if he decided to take her out again, Matt and I needed to meet her and she would need to spend some time at our house so we could get to know her.

And here we are, a year and a half later.

This past Sunday, Dankia and Ryan were celebrating their year and a half together with homemade chocolate covered strawberries and a dinner out.  They started the strawberries towards the later afternoon, both of them eating quite a few (who knew that Ghirardelli makes a dipping chocolate for covering strawberries...um...yum!).  Within a few hours of the strawberries, they headed out to dinner.

Matt and I were sitting in the living room not even 45 minutes after they left when our back door opens up.  Danika went straight to our back bathroom and Ryan came walking into the living room.  A slightly stunned look on his face.

'Hey Ry, why are you guys back so soon?'

He simply replied that he had to get into the shower because he had throw up all over him.  By this time, Danika was walking into the kitchen with the same stunned look on her face and looked somewhat overwhelmed.  She told me that she had started feeling sick at the restaurant and had needed to throw up on her way home (I was thinking it was a case of eating the chocolate covered strawberries so close to eating dinner vs. food poisoning).

I was trying to piece together why they both seemed a bit overwhelmed and stunned while knowing that we needed more info to understand this story completely......

While at the restaurant, Danika started feeling sick after she had eaten some of her caesar salad.  Mid way through their meal, she told Ryan that she had to go immediately because she was feeling so bad.  He had his food put in a to-go box and they left.  She had driven them in her car so was in the drivers seat, driving back to our house.  It was cold on Sunday, so the windows were up in her car and the heater was going.

The feeling that she was going to actually throw up snuck up on her.  She didn't have time to pull over or roll down her window.  Before she knew it, she had thrown up on the front of her.

Ry, being my spawn, took one whiff of her throw up in that hot confined car and ,before he could get the window down or have her pull over, threw up all over himself.......

Poor, Poor,  Danika- As Ryan threw up, she got a whiff of the smell and promptly threw up all over herself again.

They were popcorn barfing back and forth.  One then another then back to the first one who barfed!

AHAHHAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Can you even imagine, guys.  Your a young kid, on a date, and you have this happen!

As the full story came out, I laughed until I cried (and am still laughing).
Danika took a shower at our house, washing the throw-up out of her hair (and all down the front of her) while Ry, after showering, rented a steam cleaner to clean all of the throw up out of Danika's car!

Happy Year and a Half dating Anniversary Ry and Danika- someday, this experience will be hilarious to you (I promise).  I also guarantee this is a date you will never forget!!






Thursday, February 1, 2018

what's enough

For most, defeatment is easy for us to take on.  Self doubt creeping in right behind.
We measure our success by the perfectionist chart, and, at some level, always seem to fail.
Whether it's being a spouse, a parent, an employee, running a ministry, in our friendships (or lack of), our physical looks, being a student, etc.  Maybe it's our relationship with the Lord- we try and try and try but never feel like we are growing enough, learning enough, pouring out enough for Him.

We tell ourselves we are not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, not worthy enough.  Always feeling like we come up short.

As of yesterday evening, I have taken two mid terms this week- Both in Anatomy (BI231 Lab and Lecture).

I laid in bed last night, going over questions I did not know the answers to on the Anatomy mid term, trying to count up how many I had gotten wrong and what I thought my grade was going to come back at.  I was up again a little before five this morning, going over the chapters in the book the exam covered, looking at what the correct answers were to as many of the questions I could remember from the test.  Shoulders sagging and a pit in my stomach, I realized that several of my answers had been wrong.  I mentally tallied what I thought my grade was going to be (probably low B but possibly a high C), defeatment trying to set in.  For how many hours I studied, I would have expected myself to know more on the test.  Expected myself to have retained the hundred plus new terms better.

I began praying, telling the Lord that I felt like I didn't do good enough and that something was wrong with my retention.  Telling Him that I was disappointed in myself and my performance.

I finished praying and sat rocking in the chair, debating whether to go back to bed (my brain and body are tired).  As I was rocking, back and forth, back and forth, I could feel my thought process beginning to change.  It began to brighten and cheer up.

I was focusing on the questions I knew I answered wrong.  Focusing on the failure.  The areas I had come up short.

I studied hard, had done all of the homework and reading assignments, and had answered the best I could.  The reality is, I had given it my all.

What if I was focusing on the wrong thing, and, in doing this, defeating myself.

If the test is worth 100 points and I am able to get a low B.  That would mean that 20% of the test I answered incorrect and 80% would have been answered correctly.  My focus was solely on that 20%.

In three weeks time our Anatomy and Physiology class has taken in well over 100 new vocabulary terms.  In those new terms, we are having to learn not just the overall meaning but the nitty gritty details and application of those terms.  With all of that, we are required to spell those new (and sometimes long) words correctly.  We are having to grasp an almost insurmountable amount of knowledge.  With this difficult (but very rewarding) class, I am also taking 3 other classes that have their own learning curve and challenges.  This would be a stretch for most people's brain, not just mine.

I could feel the Lord pressing on my heart to give myself grace and to be thankful.

Yes, I did get several questions wrong.  I didn't get an A on the exam.
but,
Think of all the answers I got right :)

Focus and perspective is so important in life.  When I focus on myself and my expectations, I will always fall short.  When I focus on Jesus, asking Him for His perspective, His wisdom, and the ability to experience His Grace, I will succeed every time.  The success may not look like straight A's, it may not look like a perfect body or children that turned out the way we hoped they would.  It may not be an ideal marriage or a thriving ministry....it may not be...you fill in the blank.  That's ok.  When we know that we are honoring and trusting God with our life circumstances, no matter the outcome, we will be able to rest in His peace and grace that it was and is good enough for Him, and that is what truly matters.

Thank you Jesus for your grace on us and for the grace you ask us to give ourselves!  Thank you that you don't require us to be perfect, but instead, ask us to rest in Your perfection. 
  Thank you that you are enough.



One of the MANY pages of notes I took before this past mid term


Here comes the bones!! This is one of the page of bones we will be memorizing (location in the body and function among other things) in the coming weeks.




Thursday, November 30, 2017

a whole lot of college and a final essay

In my ignorantly over zealous desire to plow through the prerequisites for the nursing program at our local community college, I signed up for 20 credits this term (15-16 is a FULL load).
My sister in law did the same- both of us jumping in together.
The term is over in 6 days (PRAISE JESUS!) and I can hardly wait.
Over the next 6 day's, Liz and I will study for 2 final exams, complete a 10 hour clinical day on Saturday for our Nursing Assistant program, 6 hour clinical day on Sunday, graduate from the CNA class on Sunday afternoon, take a biology lab final exam on Monday, do a lot of studying on Tuesday, take a final exam in Biology lecture on Wednesday.  Then the term is done (and I am getting this fanny on a plane bright and early Friday morning and heading to Hawaii.  I will sit on the beach with my toes in the sand and do absolutely nothing for 11 days- NOTHING- and my brain will thank me profusely).

Here's how the 20 credits broke down this term
  • Medical Terminology- 3 credits
  • Biology211+Lab- 4 credits (for the time and homework energy this class takes, it should be 8 credits)
  • CNA Class- When offered at the community college we attend it was 9 credits (it is a 20 hour a wk. class that you attend.   The college stopped offering it and a private company gives the class with the credit going towards your prerequisites)
  • Writing 121- 4 credits
I am done with the Medical Terminology class (our professor let us work ahead if we were able) and received an overall grade of an A.
I also just finished writing 121 (our professor gave us our final essay project before Thanksgiving.  It is due Dec. 3 but I was able to get it done early).  I received a final grade of an A in the class.
I'm praying for a C in Biology.  Currently I am at a 71% and have worked my TAIL off for the C.  Getting an F on the first mid term was a set back but thankfully not unrecoverable.  I will be super pleased with an overall grade of a C and will move on to microbiology or Anatomy and Physiology in January.  
All of that being said, I thought I would share what one of my college level essays looks like.  For our final writing essay in WR121, we were asked to write 1200 words on the Holocaust.  
For this post, I omitted the referenced sources (by the quotes) but left everything else.  The entire essay was double spaced, which is why the first paragraph is double spaced on my blog.  For some reason, this post would not let me edit the spacing on the paper, making it all single or all double spaced- so you get to have a mixture of both :)
______________________________________________



It seems impossible to begin an essay like this and not address the emotion within ones self.  A topic like the Holocaust brings to light a dark and sadistic side in mankind that is unimaginable to understand.  It also brings to light the anguish and torment innocent victims suffered during this evil time.  As the writer, it has been hard and heartbreaking to read about.  The desired effect of this paper is to represent those directly victimized by the events of the Holocaust well, respectfully validating their valor as they walked through devastating grief.  The desire is to also show that even among so much tragedy, all hope was not lost; faith and bravery were still finding their way, weaving through the stories of victims, going as far as raising its voice around the world in the aftermath of this tragedy with a resounding gong that is still heard today.

The beginnings of what would become the greatest mass casualty in human history began innocently 
enough; with the birth of a baby boy. On April 20, 1889, Adolf Hitler was born to an Austrian 
Customs Official and his wife. When Adolf was 14 years old, his father passed away. It was shortly after this that he became rebellious and determined to find his own way. By 16, Adolf had dropped his scholastic learning, taking up painting and aimlessness, with the hopes of becoming a famous artist. During his 18th year, two pivotal events took place; Adolf’s mother passed away and his attempts to enroll in fine art school were denied. He dropped into a severe depression and isolated himself from friends and remaining family. It was also during this time that Adolf developed an obsession with mass political manipulation, or better known as mass political control. “He was particularly impressed by the successes of the anti-Semitic, or anti-Jewish, nationalist Christian-Socialist party of Vienna Mayor Karl Lueger (1844– 1910). Lueger's party efficiently used propaganda (spreading a message through literature and the media) and mass organization. Hitler began to develop the extreme anti-Semitism and racial mythology that were to remain central to his own "ideology" and that of the Nazi party.” 

In 1914, at the age of 25, World War One broke out and Adolf voluntarily joined the German military where he fought for the next five years, earning multiple awards for bravery. When the war was over and without any particular vocational goal, he joined many other veterans and began fighting in the streets in Germany. Shortly after his escapades of street fighting, he was able to gain employment as a political officer in Munich (Germany). During this time, he also began attending meetings at the German Worker’s Party (this would later develop into what would be known as the Nazi party), a group with deep anti-Semitic roots. Soon, he was one of their most popular speakers, his enthusiasm and hatred of Jews creating a sort of contagion among his peers and countrymen. By 1921 he was a leader for the Nazi party with the group he facilitated counting 6000. By 1923 he had 56,000 followers and by 1932 the Nazi party had approximately 6.5 million followers and the rise of Adolf Hitler was beginning.

World War 1 was devastating to Germany’s economy and difficult on the country’s morale. By it’s ending, the country was bitter and hard pressed. Work was difficult to come by and times were desperate and depressed. Hitler’s propaganda was promising to the feeble minded citizens of Germany. People were willing to cooperate with his Anti- Semitic tirades in the hopes that he could bring new good to the country and restore the prestige lost during the war. In 1932, the Nazi party was able to gain a seat in Germany’s political regime. It would seem only natural that Hitler was delegated to serve. By 1934, the president was dead and Adolf Hitler was nominated to replace him. The title president was quickly removed and in its place was ‘Fuhrer’ meaning ‘all powerful ruler’. With Fuhrer Hitler’s shrewd political persuasions, his standing in Germany’s political government, and the people’s desperation for hope, a country full of brainwashed citizens believed that it was the Jewish race, as a whole, who were responsible for Germany’s downfall. Almost immediately, Hitler began to condition the country for his plan of ‘final solution’, which was to place all Jewish men, women, and children in concentration camps for their extinction. 1934 was the beginning of an 11 year long reign of terror that would forever change the world, drawing out in vast array both the bravery of European citizens and the evil sadistic lurking of the brainwashed soul. The two opposites living side by side as neighbors, friends, and even family.

If it were on weighted scales, Adolf Hitler’s story would not have been worth the words above. His beliefs were despicable and his actions horrifically deplorable. He gets mention only for the fact that it is the gateway to the real story. A story of hero’s who lived during a time when life was stacked against them. When, due to their nationality or willingness to help the Jews, they did not stand a chance to survive. Babies who may never have taken a breath before loosing their life, men, women, and children who died during this fateful time, and finally those who lived through the horrible ordeal to tell their traumatized tale. It is for them that we rise and champion this piece of history and for them alone. To tell their stories as a corner stone of reclaimed victory for the life they lived. We will remember and protect their legacy with vigilance and pride. It is in a spirit of great admiration that I turn the voice of this Essay over to the Ten Boom family, whom I am proud to know, even if only by penned history.

Learning love and forgiveness often begins before its action is required. For some, it’s rooted in the belief that what goes around comes around, excluding faith and instead embracing the basic fundamentals of ethical behavior. For others, it’s for faith’s sake, a belief in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. The later is where the Ten Boom family’s hearts resided. They loved the Lord and had a strong history of Christian Faith. The Bible is full of stories presenting the Jews as God’s chosen people and the Ten Booms believed this completely, living by the principle to love your neighbor as yourself.

Widowed and elderly Casper along with his daughters Corrie and Bessie Ten Boom ran a small clock repair shop known as the Beje house in Harleem, Holland. In 1940, six years after Hitler had taken reign in Germany, Holland, including the town of Harleem, was invaded by the Nazi’s. It took the Germans five days to have their victory, ensuring that all 140,000 Jews residing in this Dutch country would fall under Hitler’s Anti-Sematic leadership. Within months, the German soldiers created and enforced rules, making the Jews register followed by marking them with a yellow star that was to be worn on their clothing. The groundwork was laid and the road to Hitler’s extinction plan for them had begun. In response to this, and on the basis of their Christian faith, the Ten Boom’s had a safe room designed into the living space in their home. A room that from both the interior and exterior of the home was invisible. It was hidden with perfection behind an upstairs wall so that even to the trained soldiers eye, it could not be detected. Its contents would be precious and its location would mean the difference between life and death for the Jews that would hide behind its wall.  As a family, they had decided they would provide food, shelter, and a safety for any Jew that came to their door. In doing this, they put their own lives in danger and risked imprisonment; but again, their belief that God would have them love others as themselves and reach out to those who were being persecuted unjustly trumped their need to protect themselves. They trusted God with their lives and knew that whatever the cost, He would see them through, even if it meant death. Corrie told her father that she was frightened of becoming a martyr, being persecuted and dying for her beliefs one day. To this, he replied, “When you take a train trip from Haarlem to Amsterdam, when do I give you the money for the ticket? Three weeks before?” “No, Dad, you give me the money for the ticket just before we get on the train. “That is right,” her father replied, “and so it is with God’s strength. Our wise Father in heaven knows when you are going to need things too. Today you do not need the strength to be a martyr. But as soon as you are called upon for the honor of facing death for Jesus, He will supply the strength you need—just in time." 

How providential Casper’s words were to Corrie. On February 28, 1944, four years after the Ten Boom’s had made the decision to harbor Jews, a Dutch neighbor turned them in. On this morning, the Ten Boom’s were able to safely hide the six Jews they were harboring prior to allowing the SS officers into their home. Even though the officers were not able to find the Jews, there was enough evidence to arrest Casper, Corrie, and Bessie (the six Jews were rescued three days later and survived). This was the last time Corrie and Bessie would see Casper alive. He died shortly after his imprisonment. Corrie and Bessie were both sent to Ravensbruck concentration camp where they would suffer unimaginable horrors at the hands of the Nazi’s. During their time at Ravensbruck, Corrie would lead the women in Bible Study and talk to the women about the Lord. She never lost sight of her faith and proclaimed it to all who would listen.

Bessie passed away while still at Ravensbruck, she survived 10 months, going home to heaven on December 16, 1944. Corrie was released due to a clerical error on December 28, 1944, twelve days after Bessie died. After her release, Corrie went on to speak around the world about her life, her faith, and her experience at Ravensbruck. At one point during a speaking engagement, an SS officer whom had tortured many at Ravensbruck, including she and Bessie, approached her. He was remorseful for his actions and had since become a Christian. The officer approached Corrie seeking forgiveness for the wrongs he had done. In God’s strength, Corrie openly forgave him- it was not an easy choice for her but the right choice.

800 Jews passed through the Ten Boom’s doors before their home was shut down. Countless others were impacted by the Ten Boom’s willingness to share food, advice, and spiritual comfort as they lived out their faith during such violent times. Upon the end of the Holocaust, Corrie Ten Boom kept walking in her faith, going on to proclaim hope and forgiveness all around the globe. She claims that it was Jesus who gave her the courage to protect the Jews, Jesus who gave her the strength to both have and share her hope while in the concentration camp, and Jesus who gave her the ability to forgive her captors and share her story with many thousand people. 

Much like the Ten Boom family, Yankel Wiernik found himself imprisoned in a concentration camp during the Holocaust.  Unlike the Ten Boom’s, Mr. Wiernik’s imprisonment was based on his race. With impeccable detail, Yankel recounts how his carpentry skills were used by the Nazi’s to help build, among other things, gas chambers. He tells of Jewish children arriving at the camp with their mothers. Large fires had been built and the children thrown in, screaming as they burned alive in front of their parent. He recalls how a pregnant woman was thrown into the fire, the baby in her womb exploding from inside of her. The guards would watch, finding a sadistic pleasure in the torture and death of their victims day after day.  One explanation for this barbaric and inhumane attitude in the Nazi soldiers has been directed at the role alcohol played as a contributing factor to dulling the guard’s senses and perpetuating such violent behavior.  A year after his imprisonment, Yankel was able to escape, forever haunted by what he saw and endured.

What are we to make of such tragic times, times created and inflicted by our fellow man? Unlike natural disasters, which mankind has no control over, we had control over whether we partook in the making of the Holocaust. Europe chose to do this to their people!

We know that historically, Europe was defeated prior to Hitler coming on the scene. We also know that the people of Europe were both prideful and desperate. Adolf Hitler was a lost and confused boy who grew into a man looking for a place to take out his anger. He was gifted in the art of political persuasion, misusing his gift for his own evil purposes. The European people, in their desperation for recovery both in their pride and economy, made one of the greatest compromises in human history. They agreed to follow a mass murder, partaking in his ways with the hopes that they would appear powerful and part of something historically great. They agreed to lay down love and take up hate.
Oh how careful we humans must be, guarding our hearts with Truth and love. Ultimately, it was not Hitler or alcohol that created the Holocaust, both were simply a catalyst for what was already brewing. Compromise was made in the hearts of the European people and as the mass majority, they chose selfishness, hatred, and power over what was right. It is my belief that this was the root of the Holocaust.  They forgot how to love each other.

 As Americans, we are a diverse nation with many different beliefs.  Each day, we are faced with the same decision the Europeans were: will we choose to love or hate each other in our differences.  In our fierce independence and strong desire to fight for what we believe in, I hope we choose to fight hardest for love, to love each other in our differences and stand strong, in unity, as a nation.